Monday, October 20, 2014

Butt Soap

Like most housewives, I do the weekly grocery shopping.  I LOATHE grocery shopping but, hey, my people have to eat, right?  As my kids have gotten older, the bill has gotten more and more expensive...mostly because they never.stop.eating.  I swear Thomas's Bagels has made a fortune off our family alone.  And Nutella.  

To make things easier, I leave a list out so the family can add to it during the week.  And, every now and then, I get some real gems of requests....

For instance, my eight-year-old daughter has added "Trix yogert" and "froot snacks."  
Oh good, you want sugar!  Why can't she ask for wheat bread and organic fruit?

Or my son's "Axe body wash and shampoo."  (What he really means is "I want to smell good for the girls...")

Heehee.  OK son, no problem.  Done.  

But the best requests come from The Hubs.

Just today, while I was sipping on my first cup of coffee at 6:30am, I noticed him adding to the list.  Since I was still half-coherent, I didn't really pay attention to what he was writing.

An hour later, after I'd gotten the kids off to school and The Hubs had left for work, I reviewed the list and this is what I found...


Let me explain this one.  When our son was very young and still learning how to talk, he couldn't say deodorant.  So it came out as dee ya ya ya.  Ten years later, this is still a family joke, obviously.

The other thing The Hubs wrote down this morning was...

Wait for it...

"Soap to wash my butt with."

Sweeeeeet.  Thanks for the mental image, babe.  Especially since I wash my face in the shower with that same bar of soap.  I'm washing my face with butt soap.

I'm washing my face...with butt soap.  Oh God.  

Trying to think positively here...think positively, least The Hubs wants a clean tushie?    

I might have to buy extra soap this week and sharpie our names on two; one for me, one for The Hubs.  

Yes...definitely two bars of soap.  

Never a dull moment around here.  But, I admit, I do look forward to those funny grocery store requests.  Even the butt soap ones.

I'm feeling very reminiscent of my Tuna Bites experience and Relating To My Eight-Year-Old Son.

By the way, I'm going to go take a shower now...

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