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Monday, August 20, 2012

Conversations With...My Mom

It's hard to describe my mom over text.  You kinda have to meet her to "get" it.  She's extremely cerebral, a former technical writer (which means she still corrects my grammar and punctuation in my casual emails to her) and was a homebirth midwife for over 20 years.

If I had three words to describe my mom, they would be baby boomer, hippie, and unique.

I guess that's four words.

I grew up mostly with her as a single mother (my father took off when I was five), with bedtime stories of her trips on acid on the 60s and of the famous rock stars she once knew.  She was the "cool" mom in high school; all my girlfriends would come to her with their pregnancy scares and we would steal her cigarettes, which eventually led to her finding out and we'd just smoke with her...

My mom and I have been through a lot. And, although I cringe at some of her parenting choices, I now have my very colorful childhood to reflect on as an adult.  I figure I need some pretty serious therapy but, in the meantime, my mom and I make it a priority to talk on the phone at least once a week, preferably more.  It's important to both of us to stay close, even though we're on separate sides of the country -- and, honestly, we get along MUCH better over the phone than we do in person.  It's a shame but, it is what it is.  It took us years to work out our adult daughter/mother relationship and I'm not about to waste the work we've done.

Anyway, so since my mom is a unique one, our conversations are....interesting.  Lots of swearing, gossip, complaining...you get the idea.

I wanted to share a recent convo I had with good old mom...

A little background: she recently bought a house with her husband and was telling me that they've made friends with their realtor.  She really likes him and so, to say thanks for all his hard work, she invited him to dinner to celebrate her hubby's birthday.

She told me how, at the end of dinner, the realtor offered to pay for half of the dinner check (which must have been a lot because they were with a big group)....

Mom: So he was thanking me for inviting him and, get this, he offered to pay for half the bill!

Me: Really!?  Wow, I wish I had your realtor.  Ours sucked ass.

Mom: Yeah, your realtor sounds like a dimwit.  (yes, she uses that word lol)

Me: Did you let your guy pay for half the bill?

Mom: Well, when he first said that, I answered "you're fucking kidding me!" and he goes "don't say the F word to me."

Me: (laughing) Did he say it seriously or as a joke?

Mom: Nooo, he was serious.  He's younger than I am, so he's a different generation.  You see, with our generation, you can say those words and it's no big deal...but not his....

While she's talking, I'm thinking in my head YOUR generation?  So, um, only your generation can drop the eff bomb and have it be no big deal?  Hate to break it to ya, mom, but I've been comfortably dropping fuck since I was 14 (I do try to tone it down at the country club, however).  In fact, it's one of my favorite words!  Although...now that you mention it, I probably first learned the word from you, mommy dear, hehe.

I just found it funny that she had to CLAIM the eff bomb.  You know, Tasha, the baby boomers invented the word fuck...

Alrighty then.  Mom claims fuck!

I just wish I could have been there to witness this very special eff bomb and to see this poor man's face when she said it.  No offense to my mom, though -- I probably would have said the exact same thing.

Like mother, like daughter?

1 comment:

TTownDiva said...

He must be a goody goody for sure!

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