Monday, June 18, 2012

More Texting With The Housewife

As I mentioned in my last blog, I've been happily texting with my new friend fairly regularly...and the texts  only get funnier.  If this new friend is OK with it, I think I might make this an ongoing series.

Oh hell, who are we kidding.  I don't give a fuck if she cares....I'm posting it anyway.

New Friend: So, last week while unpacking my son's camp things, I found my bra mixed in there. I died, wondering if it came out during 4 year old camp time. Yesterday, while getting dressed, my son asked me why I always wear one of those things. I told him it's a bra, it holds your boobies up. He said, "then why did you send it to swim camp with me???" So, yep, theres my answer. It came out in the 4 year old camp.

Me: Bow chica bow wow.

New Friend: Did you get the text about our cookout dates?

Me: Yes, I'll be gone ***** but any other Sunday works.

New Friend: K, we'll pick the one that you're not here for, then.

Me: Bitch after my own heart.

New Friend: Just kidding.  Are you in the bathroom with a razor blade.

Me: Yeah, I'm shaving my eyebrows off.  So I'll look smoking hot next time you sit by me at swim team practice.

New Friend: Can't wait...oh wait, we quit swim team (she didn't quit).

Me: I know where you live.

New Friend: Stalker.

Me: Duh.

New Friend: Peeps are gonna want my autograph.  Ice ice baby for reelz.

Me: I'm more of an Ice Cube kinda girl than a Vanilla Ice one.  Domino mother fucker.

New Friend: Oh youz straight out of Compton.

Me: Glad you know where I'm from.

New Friend: Tomorrow I'm going to pack KY jelly instead of sunscreen in my son's camp bag...

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