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Thursday, May 24, 2012

Wine, New Friends & Vaginas

I've been in Philly for two and a half years now...can you believe it?  I cant.  It feels like we just arrived last month.  I think it's because, as I get older, time flies -- remember when you were a kid and waiting a few weeks for something felt like an eternity?  But, these days, I'll think 'hymmm, we can take a big vacation in five years....that's pretty soon!'

Uh yeah.  

Anyway, in those two years I've been here, I still feel like I'm getting to know people.  Relationships take work, and lots of it.  Philly folk aren't warm and fuzzy at first, but I've found that, if you happen to know someone they know, and add a little wine to the mix, they're much more inclined to actually smile at you and engage in conversation.  Fuck me, I think I've finally cracked the code.

Let me explain.

My neighbor had a party last weekend.  A BIG party.  Like, 200+ people in her backyard kind of party.  I was beyond excited that we actually got invited.  So the hostess, my neighbor, kindly introduced me to another mom that has kids at the same school my kids go to.  She looked very 'Philly suburbs' -- skinny, gorgeous, well kept and a huge fucking rock on her finger.  

OK, deep breath, Tasha.  You can do this.  You can pretend to be interesting and funny.  You're not going to let all that insecurity bullshit come out and ruin a perfectly good opportunity to chat with a fellow mom...

God, my pedicure looks horrid.  I'm wearing my cheap shoes today...will she notice? Suck in your gut and sip your wine, don't slam it.  Don't say fuck.  Maybe throw shit in somewhere, but definitely not fuck.  And don't talk too much.

The good news is, once we started talking, I found that I really liked this new person.  And I think she liked me, too (sweet baby Jesus, I sound like I'm 10).  We had a few things in common and, after a few glasses of wine, we were chatting like old friends.  Isn't it funny how you can bond much faster when there's wine involved?  By the time the sun was setting, we were discussing our husbands and what kind of birth control we used before we were married.

Wow.  I just met this woman 2 hours ago and we're already talking about our vaginas?  This is going really well!  I even managed not to drop the f-bomb for the whole conversation!  I hope I remember it in the morning....

We agreed to exchange numbers but, at the end of the night, my sweet daughter Ava was exhausted and begging me to take her home.

Hold on, Ava.  Mommy needs to drink more wine and bond with this other mom....

Just kidding.  What I really did is scooped up my tired girl and took her home to bed.  I didn't even have a chance to say goodbye (or exchange numbers) with my new friend.  Daym!  So now my dilemma is, do I ask my neighbor for her number and call her?  No, because that would immediately label me as the desperate (stalker) woman.  I can just imagine the call...

"Umm, hi, yes, I'm the lady you were talking about your vagina to the other night at my neighbor's party?"

My alternate plan is to pray.  Dear God, please let me see her again before too much time passes.  And, God, can you make sure there's wine around when I do?  Thanks, God.  Amen.

4 comments:

Eschelle said...

I hope you see her again!!! making new friends is so hard I can't ever do it. You're braver than I to get involved with neighbors too lol !!

Main Line Sportsman said...

Maybe we'll bump into you one of these days...which Philly "burb" do you call home...with us it will be cold beer and feel free to drop an F bomb....

Tasha said...

I love beer even more than wine, Sportsman! But the ladies around here don't drink beer, it's a damn shame lol. Y'all sound like my kind of people...

Main Line Sportsman said...

We are in Gladwyne. Shoot me an e-mail and we can meet up with you and your man for beers at the Roache....the Main Line's last good drinking bar.

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