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Monday, February 20, 2012

Who Needs Barbies When We Have Death Threats?

Should I write a letter or just wait until I have the opportunity to punch her in the face?

This is the thought that has consumed me lately about ...wait for it...a six year old.

And no, it's not my own daughter, thank god. At least not this time.

No, it's about a classmate of my daughter's.

Let me explain. My daughter had a friend over the other day and I overheard my daughter, in her sweet, little girl voice, casually tell her little friend "yesterday, (insert girl's name) came over to me and said 'if you keep talking about me I'm going to kill you.' "

Um, wow. My first thought was:

WHAT.THE.FUCK.

My next thought was:

She must have an older brother.

My third thought was:

This isn't really appropriate conversation to be having with her guest. How to handle this so our little guest doesn't go home and tell her mother...who would probably never let her child in our presence again lol.

My fourth thought was:

Do I write a letter to my kid's teacher, or just wait until I have the opportunity to punch this little shit in the face?

I'm going to KILL you?! Really? The kindy girls I know play with Barbies, and wear crowns, and tell each other secrets and fight over who's not getting their way enough.

What bothered me the most was how casual my kid was about the story.

It'd be like The Hubs coming home from work and asking how my day went and I'd answer with

"Oh, you know, I had lunch with a girlfriend, I double dipped in our hummus, and she said if I did it again she was going to kill me..."

Uh huh.

So I had a sly talk with my daughter about the story; I tried to get the info out of her without making too big of a deal....but then made sure she knew that it kind of was a big deal and that, if it ever happened again, she should make a beeline for the nearest teacher and snitch the shit out of that fucking kid.

OK, I didn't say snitch.

Or shit.

Or fucking.

But you get the idea.

My next task is to write her teacher.

Hello, Ms. Blankity-blank,

So-and-so said she was going to kill my daughter in the lunch room last week, can you make sure to punch her in the face for me next time you see her?

Now, of course, I would never punch a kindergartner (at least not in the face, sheesh...), and I don't encourage violence, but seriously? She wants to kill my daughter for talking about her? What is this...college? In the ghetto? Should I make my kid watch Boys in the Hood so she can prepare for thug-ness?

Where does a six year old come up with this shit? What to do in these kind of situations? Because I know they're only going to get worse. And I can bet, as the kids get older and develop bigger attitudes (my kids included), my face-punching willpower is going straight down the tubes.

Here I am... scolding The Hubs for yelling at another driver...and I want to punch a six-year-old girl in the face.

Someone hold me back.

2 comments:

Nicole said...

wow...that's all I can say. AND I'm so thankful for 3 boys. I could not deal with the girl drama. LOL love you and good luck with that

Mrs. Jeremy said...

Punch her in the face!! Sounds like the little shit needs a good ass kicking. Ugh.

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