I do not like my name. I never have. I was with my sister and her husband at Starbucks a few weeks ago and, after telling the coffee dude my name (he had to ask twice - what is it? TASHA, smart guy...ugghhhhh), I turned to my sis and asked:
Do you ever feel strange saying your own name? Like, it's almost uncomfortable?
Sister: Yes, kind of, I guess.
Her husband then turns to me and quickly nods his head in agreement. His name is Jeff. And, being the funny guy he is, when the coffee guy asked for his name, he casually said...
So, when the coffee guy called out "Paul!" my sister and I couldn't help but giggle. I bet the coffee guy thought we were laughing at him....
I LOVE this idea of using a stage name.
To plead my case, let me give you a few examples of why my name annoys me.
- When I tell a stranger my name, I either get "Ohhh, my neighbor's dog is named Tasha! It's such a pretty name!"
Pretty enough for a dog. Uh huh.
- I thought that was a black girl's name?!
Did you seriously just say that to me?
- Before I got married, my middle name was Kay. Tasha Kay. Years back, I asked my mom...mom, why did you pick Kay? Is it a family name? Did you have a friend that you used to love and adore named Kay? Is one of your favorite authors named Kay?
You know what my mom's answer was?
Mom: No, it just sounded good.
That's it? No family significance? No loved ones? Just...sounded good?
Here's another reason-
- I visit Panera often (I heart Panera). Once you've ordered, they ask for your name to call you when your food's ready. Most peoples' names are easily called when it's time....
Then it's my turn....
"Asiago roast beef with chips!"
Aww shit, that's me.
So, from now on, I'm going to give strangers my "stage" name instead.
A name that no one will tell me their dog, cat, lizard or worm is named.
A name that everyone can pronounce....because Tasha is fucking hard, right?
Yes, I'm white.
Yes, I'm human.
And YES, that's my name and NO it's not short for something.
It's Tasha. Like Natasha...without the "Nah." Seriously, I've suggested this to people before.
I haven't decided what my stage name will be, but I'm open to suggestions. Preferrably something that won't make we want to kick someone's ass after I say it to them....
Bacon and bird shit
1 day ago