My excuses and upcoming events -- come lookie!

I appreciate those of you who continually check my blog for new posts and, to be honest, you damn people just make me feel more guilty. But I mean that in a loving way.

Not to beat a dead horse but, I've been busy. I spent an amazing weekend with some of my best gal pals in Annapolis, Maryland last weekend -- these chicks and I have 27 years of friendship under our belts. We grew up like sisters and we hadn't been together since 2004, so this was a long time comin. It was awesome...just to give you a clue...one of us bought a $1000 bling bling necklace (sober hehe!) while browsing the shops and, on our first night together, we took down 5+ bottles of wine. Did I mention there were only three of us?

Also, I need to give you the fun (and very french) update on our BFFs from France. I have pictures, stories and even a new video heehee! So stay tuned for that -- I think it will make you laugh and I'll show you a bit more of Philly.

So the most exciting part for me is that The Red Ball is in a week. A WEEK! I am so excited I might pee my pants if I think about it too much. Last year's event was in-freakin-credible, and I expect this year's to be even better. I promise to give you a full review -- with the gossip, the people, the dresses and, most of all, the FOOD. Stay tuned, bitches, because this is gonna be good. I'm still shopping for just the right dress...with lots of cleavage, hopefully. Oh, and did I forget to mention that Vin Diesel and Kevin Navayne will be mingling among the guests? Swoon! Uh huh. Maybe I'll have the balls to accidentally bump into one of them?

Are you in Philly and want to experience an incredible event for a good cause? Visit http://www.theredball.org for tickets. Hopefully I'll see you there...(and seriously, if you go, find me for a picture!).

ALSO! I still have some amazing Tupperware to give away thanks to my fabulous and gorgeous sister-in-law, Susan. You will use what I have to give away every.day. Promise.

Soooooo, as you can see, I have lots of shit to talk about. If someone hires me a nanny and a chef, I'd be writing the shit out of this blog every day. Any volunteers?

Stay tuned and I SO SO SO appreciate your continued support! :) (Did I mention that both my kids will be in school full time come this fall? Which means more time to write!)

More Deep Thoughts

Is it just me or does watching Watson on Jeopardy kind of creep you out? In my opinion, it's very Terminator-ish. Or maybe 2001? Why not just call him HAL!? Creepy. Me no likey.

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Ava and I were having lunch the other day and she was eating alfredo with noodles. We were discussing the different kinds of sauces, and how some are red and some are white. She then stated:



"Alfredo is when you get really, really scared."

I laughed until I was crying, but she didn't think that was even remotely amusing. I'll never think of alfredo the same way!

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If you haven't noticed, The Housewife Diaries is now on Facebook. I'm still in the very beginning stages of setting up the page so bear with me, but this will eventually give you the opportunity to see behind the scenes pictures of my crazy-filled life, get regular updates on what I'm up to and it's a great way to share your feedback with me. I would appreciate any support you're willing to offer!

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The Hubs bought me a new car this week. I'm in looove with it. I decided that, after two really sucky and snowy winters, I needed to switch from sedan to an AWD mid-size SUV. Sure I grew up in Colorado, but after six years of living in Las Vegas, I realized that driving in the snow sucks, and that I don't have to play slip and slide with my car if I don't want to. So I broke down and bought the AWD. Naturally, it's been warm this week and all that snow is finally (FINALLY!) starting to melt. Thank God.

Happy Valentine's Day to The Hubs

Happy Valentine's Day to my most favorite husband in the whole universe!



I know Raspberry Baret isn't a typical love song to send to my valentine but this song is an inside joke for us. You see, The Hubs has been wanting to buy a hat. Not just any hat, but his hat. Something cool and different that defines him. My step dad and brother both have their own hats (think Crocodile Dundee meets David Crosby - a little rustic, a little hippie) and I think The Hubs wants to join in on the fun.

So when he told me this, I told him I'd buy him a raspberry baret...the kind you find in a second-hand store, and that he'd look utterly fabulous in it. I can just picture it... hehehe!

I figured this song would make him laugh today, and even if he wont wear a raspberry baret, I still love him anyway. Smooches, Hubs!

Conversations With....Myself

My kids will find a reason to fight with each other no matter what the circumstances. Tonight I made the brave choice to sit them next to each other for dinner. Typically, I sit one at the counter and one at the table. Call me a shit mom but hey, it's what ensures a peaceful, indigestion-free dinner. But tonight, I was feeling like nothing could bother me! The kids were playing quite nicely while I was cooking dinner, so they should be able to sit next to each other for a meal, right?

Right?

RIGHT?!

Ummmm, nope.

Within two bites Jack was teasing Ava about her spoon. Ava got upset and started to whine and tattle. Ok no problem. I'll scoot Jack a little farther away.

Where's that wine I was drinking?

Then Ava starts to move her hands over to Jack's plate. Why? Who the fuck knows? Maybe because she wants to wipe the booger she just picked into his plate? Jack starts to object at her hands coming near....

This is where I start to pray to the wine gods and the ghosts of parents past.

I quietly try to decide on which kid to yell at while I'm stuffing spaghetti into my mouth, trying to get a few bites in before I start to feel like throwing up rather than eating. It's a freakin wonder I'm not skinny....

While I chew my bite, I scold Ava and tell her to keep her hands to herself and move her down to the table (we're all three on bar stools at the counter). Phew, should be cool now.

Then Ava starts to cry and whine that she doesn't "like" that seat. The seat? You've sat in that seat 100 other times...why cry now? Oh right. Just because.

So Jack catches on to Ava's game and slyly moves over to the seat she was sitting in at the counter -- just to piss her off.

For the LOVE. I've only had two bites of my own dinner and the two of them have already declared WW3.

Jack, move back to your old seat. Ava, be quiet and eat your spaghetti or else you'll get no dessert (this is a big deal for her right now, which makes for great bribery).

I'm going to go bang my head against the wall now kids, carry on.

Note to self: DONT let the kids eat dinner next to each other, no matter how nicely they play beforehand.

As I said, it's a freakin mystery why I'm not skinny....

Deep Thoughts

So I've decided to take the plunge and joined the gym last month. I went to the gym quite a bit when we lived in Las Vegas but, since we've been in Philly, I've been trying to ignore my extreme lack of exercise. If you want to hear about my fun times at the Las Vegas gyms, read my Gym Diaries or how I returned to the treadmill after my breast implants....

This year, the holidays came and went and I noticed that I was sporting an extra large muffin top.

Eww.

I'm not 25 anymore - that's when I could starve myself for a week and be back in my skinny jeans. These days, when I'm teetering on the very edge of my mid-30s (dear God), just maintaining my current blubber, without growing any new fat, takes some serious.effing.work. Luckily, I know this now. I'm no longer in denial that I'm not the "skinny girl" like I used to be. I'm not in denial that I cant eat whatever I want anymore. I'm not in denial that soda, ice cream and beer are no longer my BFFs.

Damn you, food!

I will admit it gets a bit frustrating that, even when I watch what I eat and pull an hour of cardio at the gym 4-5 days a week, I don't see any real change.

And sadly, the gym is my only real outlet of getting out of the house on a regular basis right now. No problem, I'm a veteran at this work-at-home-mom business and I'm grateful to have the excuse to go. I'm hoping that the opportunity will encourage my confidence to get bigger, and my ass to get smaller. And for a writer, it makes for great people watching. If I only had a tape recorder in my brain so I could remember everything I've seen while sweating off the calories. Maybe I should bring my laptop to the gym and prop it up on my treadmill while I'm power walking...