I used to have a daughter who was sweet, easy going, funny as all heck and had the most charming personality I've ever seen a four-year-old possess.
Then she turned into Satan. I dont know exactly when shit hit the parental fan, but the shit's been flying all over my house for a few weeks now.
Now I have a daughter who whines, screams, scratches, kicks and bites and has the balls to - not only hit her older brother - but hit ME, too. The first time she hit me I was so stunned I think I just stood there in shock.
I will gently tell her "No Ava, you cannot have another cookie." And within half a second she has thrown herself on the floor and is writhing, kicking, screaming and wailing like a possessed animal with Satan himself inside of her. The noises that come out of that girl's mouth are mind boggling.
Ava had a tantrum the other day and The Hubs and I just stared at each other in disbelief with our jaws hanging open. What? Who is this child? Where did Ava go? Who is this spawn of Satan? She's almost five...she's never thrown tantrums like this...ever.
The worst thing she's ever done in her life is pick on our cat. Now? She bites. She scratches. She kicks. She makes dying animal sounds that would scare any random neighbor that might come to the door. "Oh that noise? Oh, no, we're not watching The Exorcist, that's just my daughter...she's mad...don't mind her..."
She used to play jokes. And giggle. And sing. And charm anyone who spoke to her.
Now I'm lucky if I get a "yes, mom" instead of a "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO AHHHHHHHHHH!"
Oh dear God.
Don't you love it when your kids pull that crap out in public? It's like you want to be firm, but you know others are watching you. So you go back and forth in your head between wanting to punch a wall vs smiling and acting like the perfect, patient mother? At least I do.
"Now Ava honey, you know it's not ok to act like that..." All the while, I'm wishing I could throw up, slap my forehead and scream "WHY ME!!!??"
I thought I'd gotten lucky with Ava. She was my easy-going child.
Ummmmm, nope. Nice try, Tasha.