Why must you be so large? You make my shoe shopping ridiculously difficult, to the point where I hate shoe shopping.
Gasp! I know - aren't all chicks supposed to love shopping for shoes? Well not me.
Because I wear an 11.
Yes, you read that right...ELEVEN. Actually, I'm a perfect size 10.5, but finding a pair of 10.5 shoes is like finding a fucking diamond in your backyard.
It doesn't happen.
So I'm stuck with loving a pair of shoes, only having to put them back on the shelf because they don't have anything bigger than a 7.5. *sniff*
Here's how it goes...
Ohhhhhh, LOOK at these. (As Sarah Jessica Parker says in Sex and the City...) Hello lover!
Find the shoe dude. Ask for a size 11. He stops, his eyes go wide, he stares at me like I've just told him I'm an alien from the planet Vulcan. Yes, that's right....an ELEVEN. *sigh*
He politely goes to the back of the store, even though he already knows they don't have my size. Once he's back there, instead of searching for the shoe, he's most likely having a smoke or restroom break, or picking his nose and snickering that he's waiting on a chick with some big-ass feet.
Shoe dude returns.
"No, sorry ma'am, we don't have that size." He's trying to look sympathetic. "All we have is a 10...?"
Um yea, a 10 is not going to fit my foot. Nice try, though.
Ok then, (I pick up another shoe) do you have this shoe in an 11?
Ok, how about this one?
No? Darn, ok....oh, I like this one, too. Maybe this one?
Mother effer! You must have some shoe in a size 11!? This is where I begin imagining running to the back of the store so I can start throwing shit and shoes around while screaming "Size elevennnnn! Size elevennnnnn!"
But I do the lame thing instead by thanking the shoe dude and leaving the store. I've even tried shopping Zappos.com, which has a huge selection.
Here's how that goes...
Pick your shoe style: Boots - 2000 choices!
Pick your price range: $100 to $200 - 1000 choices!
Pick your color: Brown or Black - 500 choices!
Pick your size: 11 - oh damn! 3 choices.
Uh huh. I HATE shoe shopping.