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Monday, October 25, 2010

Dear Feet,

Dear feet,

Why must you be so large? You make my shoe shopping ridiculously difficult, to the point where I hate shoe shopping.

Gasp! I know - aren't all chicks supposed to love shopping for shoes? Well not me.
*
Why?


Because I wear an 11.

Yes, you read that right...ELEVEN. Actually, I'm a perfect size 10.5, but finding a pair of 10.5 shoes is like finding a fucking diamond in your backyard.

It doesn't happen.

So I'm stuck with loving a pair of shoes, only having to put them back on the shelf because they don't have anything bigger than a 7.5. *sniff*

Here's how it goes...

Ohhhhhh, LOOK at these. (As Sarah Jessica Parker says in Sex and the City...) Hello lover!


Find the shoe dude. Ask for a size 11. He stops, his eyes go wide, he stares at me like I've just told him I'm an alien from the planet Vulcan. Yes, that's right....an ELEVEN. *sigh*

He politely goes to the back of the store, even though he already knows they don't have my size. Once he's back there, instead of searching for the shoe, he's most likely having a smoke or restroom break, or picking his nose and snickering that he's waiting on a chick with some big-ass feet.

Shoe dude returns.

"No, sorry ma'am, we don't have that size." He's trying to look sympathetic. "All we have is a 10...?"

Um yea, a 10 is not going to fit my foot. Nice try, though.

Ok then, (I pick up another shoe) do you have this shoe in an 11?

"No."

Ok, how about this one?

"No."

No? Darn, ok....oh, I like this one, too. Maybe this one?

"No."

Mother effer! You must have some shoe in a size 11!? This is where I begin imagining running to the back of the store so I can start throwing shit and shoes around while screaming "Size elevennnnn! Size elevennnnnn!"

But I do the lame thing instead by thanking the shoe dude and leaving the store. I've even tried shopping Zappos.com, which has a huge selection.

Here's how that goes...

Pick your shoe style: Boots - 2000 choices!

Pick your price range: $100 to $200 - 1000 choices!

Pick your color: Brown or Black - 500 choices!

Pick your size: 11 - oh damn! 3 choices.

Uh huh. I HATE shoe shopping.

11 comments:

Rita/Fighting Off Frumpy said...

I. SYMPATHIZE.

Girl, my feet are size 10, and that's hard enough. I hate that there are never any cute shoes in my size. And when there are, they're not as cute. Shoes that are awesome when they're, say, a size 6 end up looking like pontoon boats when they're stretched out to size ten and above. Ugh! I feel your pain!

Wendy said...

I feel your pain. Size 10 here too. Sux!

JenB said...

Ok I am laughing out loud right now. I do feel for you though!!!

Ps- don't hate me for my size 7.5 feet. Would it lessen the sting if I told you they are reeeeally wide? or that people have told me I have "man-hands"?? Oops, was that just my outside voice ???? :)

Tasha said...

Jen! It's so nice to see you! I remember the days when you and I used to share shoes...and clothes. Nowadays, my feet and my ass are twice as big as yours. :)

And you do not have man hands at ALL! Next time someone tells you that, just show them your beautiful, pedicured, perfect size 7.5 feet. :)

Love youuuu!

Gin said...

I feel your pain...sort of. I wear a size 7.5 or 8, but I have a very high arch. That makes shoving my foot down into cute shoes almost impossible in most cases. So even though I wear an average size, I rarely find a shoe that my seemingly fat foot will go down into or not hang off the back of.

On another note....I sold shoes for 4 yrs in a dept store. We never got more than 1 pair of size 11's in each shoe style. That may be the case in many stores. I am sure that little bit of info doesn't make you feel any better though. hehe

Stephanie in Suburbia said...

My friend has size 11 and I went everywhere w/ her to shop bridal shoes and she had great luck at DSW.

Also how hilarious is it that shoe stores always suggest a different size? I mean where else does that happen? "We don't have a size 10 pair of pants, what about a 6?" I mean, REALLY!!

dirtyduck said...

"He politely goes to the back of the store, even though he already knows they don't have my size" *cringe* great post, i know what you mean about there being a surplus of 7.5. but being tall makes up for it??...

dirtyduck said...

"He politely goes to the back of the store, even though he already knows they don't have my size" *cringe* great post, i know what you mean about there being a surplus of 7.5. but being tall makes up for it??...

Beth said...

I hate buying shoes, too. I wear a size 8.5 wide, and NO ONE carries wide. When the salesperson suggests a size 9 regular instead of 8.5 wide, I want to scream. Do they really think feet change shape like that??

Tasha said...

You know, Beth, I admit I have never tried a 10 wide. Maybe I should, although it sounds like it wouldn't be any easier to find shoes. Kepp fighting, girlfriend! Big-footed-women unite!

Tasha said...

"On another note....I sold shoes for 4 yrs in a dept store. We never got more than 1 pair of size 11's in each shoe style."

Gin, that is verrrrry interesting! Who knew!? Well then, what lucky bitch gets the ONE pair of 11s? I need to find her and raid her closet.

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