So am I the only one who does a little happy dance on the first day of school? Although I've enjoyed spending my summer with my son, I am overjoyed to send him back to class for eight glorious hours, five days a week. Yesssssssss.
I've heard lots of girlfriends talking about how they're disappointed the summer is over, and about how sad it will be when their kiddos return to school...
Are you kidding me?
I must really be a bad mom - I'm not sad at all. And, in fact, I'm pretty freakin happy about it.
Jack's at school again! Let the party begin! It's almost Fall! Football! Hot Wings! Crisp, fragrant mornings! Quiet afternoons! Schedules! All of that sounds good to me.
Here are a few more back-to-school thoughts I've had lately:
- The bus stop changed locations. Good thing my neighbor told me this, because if not, Jack and I would have been standing at the old stop...picking our noses....wondering where the hell the bus was. Yep, I'm a responsible mom. I dont check bus schedules, I just rely on my (even more responsible) neighbor to tell me this shit.
-Dear God, I hope that snotty, stupid brat of a girl is NOT in Jack's class this year. Is it bad that I call an eight-year-old girl a snotty, stupid brat? Well... she is. Good thing her mother doesn't read my blog! Yuk yuk yuk!
-Why do kids around here say they hate school? It seriously bugs me. You're eight. You're in second grade. Your school shit hasn't even hit the fan yet. That'll happen around 8th grade. Right now you should like school. Get excited. Have fun. Freakin enjoy yourself. You get to color and read books...how bad can it be? Seriously. I'm grateful that my boy loves school. I'm going to do my best to keep it that way.
-Is it bad to consider a martini at noon? I'm mean, just to celebrate my back-to-school aloneness...is that a word? Chocolate cake is in order, too. Anyone want to come over and celebrate with me?
-Thank God I will not have to feed the kids three times a day, every...single...day anymore. Ugh! It gets so old trying to figure out what to fix, fix it, and then hear lots of bitching "mommmm, I didn't want this for lunch!" Just shut the eff up and eat it. There are starving kids in China! Now, Jack gets to eat and school and he can complain all he wants to his friends instead.
Back to school starts Monday. Thank you, God. Amen.