Getting old is weird. It's like my brain doesn't realize I've aged 10 years. But then something happens and the mental shit hits the fan and forces it (my brain, that is) to realize it ain't the spring chicken it once was.
I swear my brain still thinks it's 24.
What the fuck, brain? Why confuse me so?
I had mental shit hit my internal fan today.
I was grocery shopping - one of my most favorite things to do...not. Anyway, I'm checking out and the checker is a young, early 20-something cutie patootie. He's jabbering away to the bagger who, after listening to their banter, I took to be his roommate. This bagger/roommate kept talking and the checker cutie patootie turns to me and says
"You should complain to the store that he (the bagger) keeps interrupting us."
I knew he was just being a smart ass, and I can play the smart ass game pretty well myself, so I quipped back
"That's ok. I have kids, so I'm used to it."
Okay, okay, not exactly what I'd call funny or smart assed. Throw me a bone - I stay home and converse with a four and a six year old all day. My smart-assms are rusty.
But here's where he drops the big shit bomb on me.
He doesn't miss a beat, laughs at my joke, and says-
"Yea. Haha! That's exactly what my mom would say!"
Oh dear God. Did he, a boy who is probably only ten (or so) years younger than I, just compare me to....(hard swallow)....his mother.
Um, duuude. I'm not that old.
Sweet Jesus, Mary and Joseph. I'm being compared to a 20-something's mother.
I had to check myself and just smiled at him. I'm not the cute, unwrinkled, charming, natural blond 24 year old I once was.
Um yes, can I add some anti-wrinkle cream to my shopping cart?
Damn you, brain.