Sunday, July 11, 2010

Growing Older is Weird

Getting old is weird. It's like my brain doesn't realize I've aged 10 years. But then something happens and the mental shit hits the fan and forces it (my brain, that is) to realize it ain't the spring chicken it once was.

I swear my brain still thinks it's 24.

What the fuck, brain? Why confuse me so?

I had mental shit hit my internal fan today.

I was grocery shopping - one of my most favorite things to do...not. Anyway, I'm checking out and the checker is a young, early 20-something cutie patootie. He's jabbering away to the bagger who, after listening to their banter, I took to be his roommate. This bagger/roommate kept talking and the checker cutie patootie turns to me and says

"You should complain to the store that he (the bagger) keeps interrupting us."

I knew he was just being a smart ass, and I can play the smart ass game pretty well myself, so I quipped back

"That's ok. I have kids, so I'm used to it."

Okay, okay, not exactly what I'd call funny or smart assed. Throw me a bone - I stay home and converse with a four and a six year old all day. My smart-assms are rusty.

But here's where he drops the big shit bomb on me.

He doesn't miss a beat, laughs at my joke, and says-

"Yea. Haha! That's exactly what my mom would say!"

Oh dear God. Did he, a boy who is probably only ten (or so) years younger than I, just compare me to....(hard swallow)....his mother.

Um, duuude. I'm not that old.

Sweet Jesus, Mary and Joseph. I'm being compared to a 20-something's mother.

I had to check myself and just smiled at him. I'm not the cute, unwrinkled, charming, natural blond 24 year old I once was.

Um yes, can I add some anti-wrinkle cream to my shopping cart?

Damn you, brain.


Nicole said...

LOL your full of it! Were you at the store in your pajamas?! Your a hottie. Admit it, you wouldnt go back to that age again would you? Do you remember all of the DRAMA?

He's just not into that whole MILF thing ;)JK

gayle said...

I would go back to that age in a minute!!! I loved it!! Then.. Stay at home mommy .........2 little girls and a pretty good body. Now work, no little girls at home and a fat old body!!

Mrs. Jeremy said...

Shit!! I feel exactly the same way! SO TRUE!

Stephanie in Suburbia said...

Ouuuuuuch! I've been getting mammed a lot lately since I had my baby. Do I just have harried Mom written all over me? I got mammed by a Comcast rep who was probably 5 years older than me. Disturbing.

Closer to Lucy said...

Now I know what's wrong with me! Mental Shit! Glad to know I don't suffer alone. Too bad there isn't a cream for that.

Crafty Mom said...

new follower. great blog. added you to my blogroll.

Stephanie said...

OMG I am right there with you and your young brain, and that comment would ruin my entire week.

KT said...

Smart asses unite. I made the mistake of telling some little f-er that I've spanked dudes younger than him. Then I caught myself. And he looked at me in a little different light...

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