"There's all this swearing....it's fuck this, and suck-it that..." he said.
I couldn't help but giggle at first, because anyone who blogs themselves knows that these little blog babies of ours are specifically for shit like that - complaining, moaning and groaning and general ranting, and in my case, swearing. I never swear in real life. Well, hardly ever. I don't want my kids hearing it, and plus, I come up with other words to replace the naughty ones. But god knows I love me some good swear words. So I swear it up here and, that way, when my significant other comes around, I can put on the happy face and get on with life - with a clean mouth.
Makes sense, right?
But then I got to thinkin....
Maybe my blog is too bitchy. Mostly I hate people who perpetually complain. It drives me nuts when a person sits on their ass and bitches, and doesn't DO anything about their problem. I would hate for others to see me like that.
However, I did just move to a strange city, not knowing a soul, and am trying to jump in with both feet and start my life over...again. The hubs and I have done this twice before - once to San Diego and once to Vegas. So I'm not a rookie....but I'm not exactly "good" at doing this move thing, either.
It's a tough balance. But while I'm trying to figure out my new life here in Philly, in my quiet moments I often reflect on how lucky I am, and how this time has given me the opportunity to slow the fuck down and learn to just enjoy my life and my kids. It's been amazing to just "be a mom" and not worry about how I'm going to find the time to get everything done, or what I'm going to wear to the next party....
I've spent the past eight weeks in mom sweats and ponytails - no events to attend, no friends to have over, nowhere to go. I've welcomed my boy home from school every day ready to help him with his homework and bake cookies together. That's time I'll never get back, and I'm so grateful that I've been able to do that with him. I've spent loads of afternoons with my daughter, teaching her new songs and snuggling an extra few minutes when she wants it. I'm not the type of mom that could do this for the rest of my mom career - I'd go totally insane being home 24/7 - but for now, I'm trying to appreciate that I have the time, and the patience, and the energy to enjoy it while it's here.
So, even though I'm not exactly "happy" right now, I'm not sad, either. Figuring out my new path isn't easy. It's going to take lots of mental processing, time and patience, but most of all emotional courage....or as I like to call it...balls. I'm going to need some big balls to get through this. Luckily I've got some stashed away for times like these.
My apologies if I've been too bitchy. I certainly didn't mean to come across as The Negative Housewife (just call me Debbie Downer? Wah! Wah! Wahhhh!). To cheer up the place a bit, here are some of my favorite pictures from the past couple of weeks.
Shoo-Fly Pie, anyone?
One of the many storms to hit Philly this season...