Don't you love how your voice sounds when you've got a cold? You know, when your nose is so stuffed up it feels like your eyeballs are going to suddenly burst out of your head?
And then there's the extremely intelligent people who hear you speak and then politely ask "are you sick?"
No, you stupid moron. I just like to talk out of my nose. Doesn't everyone? Yes, I'm sick. Thanks for asking. Can I cough on you now?
As I said yesterday, my precious daughter handed this cold over to me. She's been pretty sick, too. Her nose is even runnier than mine, and I've had to beg her to blow her nose every ten minutes....cause we all know how much kids loooove to blow their noses, don't we moms?
That was sarcasm, by the way.
So I hold a tissue over her face and finally get Ava to blow, but instead of blowing into the Kleenex, she blows her snot all over my hand. (shudder, gag, shudder) How do kids do that? Does she have a little snot steering wheel up her nose?
I hate snot. I can stand pee, puke, poo and the random shit I find in my son's hair, but there's something about boogers that makes me want to heave.
So there I am, dry gagging, holding a dry tissue with my hand covered in snot...while my daughter carelessly shuffles away.
Can someone get me a barf bag?
And some soap and water?
And some hand sanitiser?
Being sick with your kids is the best. I wonder if a martini and some Mucinex would make me feel better...