Sunday, January 31, 2010
Welcome to Suck-It Sunday! Here's my weekly list of people, places and things that I'd like to tell to suck it. Have your own list? Grab the graphic and go to town. Just make sure to let me know so I can read it and laugh along with you. And it would be really super awesome if you link me back from your suckiness.
1. Freelancer taxes can suck it. I work full-time from home, which to most moms sounds like the job of a lifetime. And for the most part, ok...it is. Only did you know that a free-lancer pays twice as many taxes as an office-bound career woman? Yea. Ouch. I already make about a third of what I would make working outside of the home, but then I have to bend over and pay an entire month's worth of my salary in annual taxes. Awesome. So suck it, freelance taxes. Thanks to J for the Suck-It heads up!
2. Rush Limbaugh can suck it. He's a complete psycho...and he's not even a nice psycho. He's a jerk. Need I say more? Thanks to my fellow scribe, VegasGhostDude, for the Suck-It!
3. Frozen beer. Ok, maybe this is a strange one but...sometimes I put a couple of bottles of beer in the freezer to cool them quick. I hate waiting for cold beer! But if I'm having a particularly crazy night (my kids puking, for instance) I forget about the beer. Which means I wake up to a nice little freezer present in the morning: frozen, slushy, exploded-all-over-the-god-damn-freezer beer bottles. Not only that but the beer inside is completely ruined. Damn. You'd think I'd remember my lesson after the first time? Ummm, nope. Happened just this week. So frozen beer can Suck-It.
4. People who give too much advice. Sometimes, a woman just needs to vent. She needs to ramble on about how shitty the bathroom looks and how much laundry she has to do and how much her son's feet stink. So she calls her people, and most of her people are awesome. But there are a select few that think she wants advice on how to do her laundry faster, how she needs to suck it up that her husband doesn't put the toilet seat down, and how investing in some odor eaters will take care of her son's stinky feet.
Um, just shut up. Shut the hell up. I don't need your advice. I need you to shut your pie hole so I can get it all out. Then, after we hang up, feel free to gossip about me and tell you husband how immature and silly I am. If I need advice, usually I'll say something really clever like....wait for it....."I need your advice on something...." Ding ding!
Damn that felt good!
5. Teenagers in the movie theatres who kick the seat in front of them during the entire movie (especially when I'm the one sitting in the seat in front of them).
6. John Edwards can Suck-It again this week.
7. Low-rise jeans. Dear low-rise jeans, you were fun in my mid 20s, and showing people my ass crack every time I sat down was the best. But now that I have a post-baby muffin top and, dear god, no one wants to see my crack anymore....why are you still being made? Go away! I don't want to see you ever...again. Ever. Low-rise jeans, you can totally Suck-It.
Labels: Suck-It Sunday