Remember the flapper bachelorette party I helped plan? Well, my girlfriend finally got married. Praise Jesus! It's about time!
It was such a lovely wedding, I thought I'd share some of the highlights with you through the pictures I took.
The wedding took place at a mission-style house that overlooked the entire city of Las Vegas. Very cool place! -
Check out that view, people. End to end and unobstructed!
Here they are sealing the deal. There's no going back now!
Hallelujah! It finally happened! Steph gets married!
The kids found a bubble machine and it kept them busy for hours. Totally awesome for my husband and me!
I'm so lucky to have such a great group of girlfriends.....
- Steph and her sister never miss out on an opportunity to give a shout out to all the homies out there. Don't they look just alike? They were so cute together. - Here's Jack. He's total dancing machine. He even break dances. I'll have to get it one video sometime. And yes, his hair is orange....because we're punk rock like that.
- And here's Steph and Jeremy just minutes after they tied the knot. I tell ya- they know how to throw one hell of a party! Congrats to the happy couple!
But sometimes, with so many fun and exciting things to do, even The Housewife needs a rest.
I've been so crazy busy for the past month; from planning a funeral, to traveling to California and back, to working for iVillage.com full time. On top of that, my kitty cat, Nemo, has been in the animal intensive care all week for liver failure - he's on a feeding tube and the bill is already $1000+. Ouch. I'm supposed to pick him up today. We're still waiting on blood work as to why it happened (he's only 6!), but I've been missing him a lot. Like the vet said- Nemo is one-of-a-kind and, if you've met him, you know it's true.
Anyway, I woke up this morning at 6am- to make sure I was out the door by 7am for the March, and I just didn't feel right. Headache. Sore throat. And tired.
My boy has a baseball game later today that I cant miss (already missed his first last weekend- nice mom I am) and I have to go get my kitty after that and learn how to feed him with a syringe for the next 4 weeks. PLUS....my house is a freakin disaster. There are dishes in the sink, mystery food on the floor, and toys everywhere.
Wanna come over and hang out?
I just felt that I needed the morning to clear my head.
So my apologies for not cover the March. I hope you'll forgive me. But an insane Housewife just won't do- I'm already crazy enough, people!
Sometimes I swear I could be a gay man in a woman's body. Except I'd be a gay man that likes big boobs...
So I forgot to tell you that March of Dimes is hosting their March For Babies in Las Vegas this Saturday, and I'm a lucky girl to have been invited to cover it. I know a lot of gals all over the country that are participating in this, and it's all to help premature babies. It should be an amazing morning- I'm really looking forward to it. So stay tuned for lots of photos, interviews from the participants and pictures!
I'm off to California this weekend to attend my uncle's memorial and to scatter his ashes. Remember he passed away very suddenly last month. I'm looking forward to spending time with my family, but not wanting to say goodbye. Sheesh, do I hate goodbyes.
And as Forrest Gump says...
And that's all I'm going to say about that.
See you all on the flip side! Now, go read my article. Comments are encouraged- thanks!
You know the new-ish trend on family cars right now is the stick figure decals for each member of your family? They even have ones for pets. While I think this is a cute idea, seeing some of these on other people's cars totally stress me out.
Let me explain.
Did you know that Las Vegas has the largest population of Mormons - outside of Utah - in the nation. If you know anything about their faith, Las Vegas and the Mormon faith is kind of an oxymoron if you ask me but, whatevs.
While I have absolutely NO judgement towards Mormons in general (they are some of the nicest people!), and I'm fascinated by the religion (I've read all the books and never miss an epi of Big Love), I don't think I could ever BE a Mormon. Why? Because they're supposed to have kids......LOTS of kids. It's not uncommon for my hubby and me, while out and about in the Las Vegas burbs, to see huge families- with 7 or 8 kids behind the parents (that were obviously born one right after the other...after the other). Wow.
Anyway, back to the family car decals.....do I still have you?
I pick my boy up from kindergarten every day, and usually we get stuck in the parking lot traffic jam. Sweet. Sometimes I'll get behind this big, dark SUV, and on the back window are the decals of their family.
OMG. The stickers take up the ENTIRE...back...window.
I don't even know how many freakin kids they have -- I haven't actually counted. I see allthose stickers, start to hyperventilate and have to look away.
"Jack! Get the paper bag! Mommy is starting to hyperventilate again!"
Seriously, I think they have like seven kids...and two dogs...and maybe a cat...or something. The stickers are all there.
God bless those big families but...how the hell do they do it?
Or are they just functioning insane? I've been there.
I don't get it. I couldn't get it if I tried. I understand that some parents want big families, but it's just not my thing. My two babies are enough - and sometimes more than enough. My husband had the snippy snip when our daughter was 6 months old. We knew we were done.
So while these stickers are cute and all, those Mormons really need to think about us small-family folks because they could cause an accident.
Soooooo, now that my blog's traffic has really started to pick up, I'm finding that I have to sort of *censor* my writing.
Now where's the fun in that?
Blogs are supposed to tell you the juicy stuff, right?
Like the time a friend threw up on the dinner table.....heehee. Yes, this really happened.
Or the time my husband and I had a bit of a"conflict" over one of my blogs.....
Or the instance that I read a certain blog and thought "I cannot STAND this person..."
But see, I cant tell you these great stories. At least not right now. You'll just have to grin and bear it.
I'm still working on my hairy awards. I'm putting lots of thought into them, and right now, I don't get much thinking time so it's slow going. On top of that, my baby brother is bringing his brand new girlfriend to Vegas for a weekend visit. (((I'm rubbing my hands together in anticipation!)))) I can hardly wait to find out what she's all about. My brother already told me to go easy, and not give her the 3rd degree. Which means I need to do exactly that. I'm turning the game of 20 questions into 200 questions. I've already started my list. My brother's going to love it - not!
What are big sisters for, after all? He spent his younger years torturing me and making my life hell, and now it's my turn.
Payback's a bitch. But it's payback in the most loving way! You understand. The best part? My brother doesn't read my blog... so I get let it all out on The Housewife Diaires for you lovely people to read!
Do you hear my evil cackling?
I bet you can hardly stand the suspense.
It should be an interesting weekend. I'll be drilling my possible, future sister-in-law, eating lots of chocolate I stole from my kid's Easter basket, and praising Jesus. Amen, bitches!
Thanks to everyone who entered. As always, your support is so much appreciated. My hairy awards will have to wait until tomorrow- I had unexpected guests for dinner, so I had to bust out The Housewife personality for some entertaining. It was a conservative, Republican couple from Oklahoma that came over....can you just imagine how well I came off to them? Heehee. I made sure to eat my burger extra rare and show lots of cleavage, just to freak them out a little and keep things interesting....
I will be randomly picking 2 winners for my 1 year bloggie anniversary giveaway within the next 24 hours. Are you feeling lucky? I'm tellin ya- this autographed book I'm giving away will be worth some money someday...have I ever lied to you? Never! I tell it like it is. So trust me, dahling.
Also, I've created some brand-spanking-new bloggie awards. They aren't recycled. I brainstormed them all by myself, with some help from Toni at Snips of Sugar, and they're a bit..... hairy.
Yes, I said hairy.
Now the question is....who's going to get a hairy award?
Would you expect me to think of anything less offensive?
So anyway, this week I was at the store, alone, strictly to buy the booz. Here's my "good mom" thinking; I dont like to buy a bunch of alcohol with my kids around. They don't need to see it, and I don't need to be stocking up on beer with my kids in tow. I'll buy a bottle of wine when they're with me for our weekly shopping trip, but that's different. This trip was my "stocking up" purchase. So the kids stayed home with their dad.
I have to draw my parenting limits somewhere. You understand.
While I'm at the self-checkout station, the attendant lady comes over, takes a look in my cart (I hate this part), and then her eyes slowly move up to my face. I stare back at her. She's obviously searching her mental database for a guess on my age. I know this because I had to do this very thing for almost ten years working in a bar. I smile sweetly, hoping for "the question" and she goes-
"Don't you want to see my ID?"
"No, that's okay. You're good."
"Are you sure? You don't want to see it? I'll show it to you..."
"Um, no, I don't need to see it." Now she's starting to look a little uncomfortable.
"Do I really look old enough not to be carded?"
This is when she smiles tightly and sort of walks away without answering me.
Thanks lady for making my day. Now I'll head home, put on some anti-wrinkle cream and cry in my beer.
I (Tasha's husband) am not normally one to put it all out there and blog about the things that I find funny, annoying, or anecdotal, but today's visit to Applebee's could not go without commentary or examination. Having put myself through school by working in restaurants, I have an intimate understanding what it takes to run a joint like this. My sister Sara and wife Tasha also know quite well what makes the difference between a great experience and a mediocre visit to a "neighborhood" eatery.
Driving around this afternoon, looking for a place to eat with the kids, I decided it would be a great idea to pull over and eat at Applebee's. Tasha and I last visited this concept 5 years ago. I think we shared a rib basket and some other piece of garbage entree. We decided right then we would never return. Well, we decided to give it another run and see if things have changed. And my have they changed.......for the worse!!
We sit down, the girls visit the restroom and I give some crayons to Jack. We are there for 12 seconds before the waiter bounces over and asks if we are ready to order. Ready to order?? My ass is still half off the seat and you are asking me if we are ready to order? Do my wife and daughter get a say in what they want to eat?
So we look over the menu and decide on 4 bland entrees; some chicken fajita wrap type of thing for me, a turkey sandwich and a beer for Tasha, a kid's cheeseburger and a kid's mac and cheese. Sounds great right???? blech!!!
A box of Kraft macaroni and cheese costs 23 cents at our local grocery store. Ava received a large portion of this exact thing, which cost them about 11.5 cents to make. So the food cost on this item is about 3%. Mind you most restaurants shoot for under 30%, so they make out quite well on the deal. But KRAFT mac and cheese for Christ's sake??? I can make that with my eyes closed at home. The other 3 entrees were fine, but that was ridiculous. The waiter comes over and asks the obligatory "Uh....is everything alright?" (By the way, I hate when servers ask "Is everything grrrreeeeaat?") My answer was "Seriously, Kraft macaroni and cheese? Don't you think y'all could have done a little better than that?" Even Ava, who would eat a tire if she were hungry enough, wouldn't touch it.
After our meal, we had the standard charge for something we did not order. I asked the manager, who came right out of Office Space's Chotchkies (pieces of flare, bad tie and all), to remove the charge, which he did.
On the way out with Ava, I was asked the standard "How was everything?" question. My answer was "average." "Oh really?" "Yes, really average."
Tasha and Jack follow a couple of minutes later and the hosts we goofing off and talking to one another. Of course, they don't open the door for them.
All in all, we have had worse experiences at other places. For some reason, this place just ticks me off though. Applebee's seems to be content to offer a bland, ordinary experience. That is why The Housewife and I will no longer allow ourselves to spend a dime at this tired and dying chain restaurant chain. No wonder the place was half empty.
I took this first picture right when things started to go dark. You can see a few hotels on the right have already gone lights out....I stood there and watched all the colors of the casinos go dark. It was really neat!
Just leave a comment under that blog (click above!) to enter. The prize is a book called Caution Funny Signs Ahead, and I know you'll love it. It's even autographed by the authors, people! I wouldn't be giving it away if it wasn't a hysterical read- I'd like to think I have a decent sense of humor- and I even got the authors to sign it for you. So throw me a freakin bone and go enter. - The contest ends MONDAY, April 6th so hurry up...or like Diego says: Rapido!