These guys are totally hot! Okay, not really...

Do you remember these tools?


I caught myself singing along to one of their songs today. I got about half-way through the song and then stopped...

...OMG am I actually singing this song? And I know the words, too?


Nelson.


Rock on, bitch!


The harmonies. The twin gimmick (barf!). The HAIR!


Seriously.

Don't ya hate it when you catch yourself listening to (and singing along!) to a lame-ass song? It's so bad it's good!

Another one of those moments was during Bobby Brown's "She ain't worth it." I surprised myself that I knew all of those words, too.

You know those songs that you haven't heard in 15 years, but then you hear it again and still know all the words? I have a lot of those. Most of them are really embarrassing. But who cares? I'm sharing them anyway!

I'm currently working on another blog "Music Artists I'm Embarrassed to Love." Remember the first one?

And then let's not forget about about the blog post Movies I'm Embarrassed to Love. That was one of my most popular blogs of all time!


I'm having a contest! Did you know? It ends tomorrow!!! So leave a comment HERE to enter. I will be randomly selecting a winner on Monday!

Conversations with DH (sort of)

My husband and I are grateful that we're able to afford a sweet deal that some of the local casinos offer called Kids Quest.

Last weekend, we took advantage of it! After dropping the blissfully-excited kids off, the hubs and I had a quick lunch at the buffet and then saw Revolutionary Road.

Although it was a good movie, it was emotionally exhausting. There were some slow moments followed by lots of very intense, sad moments. Kate and Leo are exceptional together, no question about that.

This conversation with DH was very brief.

During one of the very tense scenes in the movie, I gulped down the lump in my throat and turned to DH to give him a look like (oh my god!), and he loudly whispers:


"Rose! Rose! Rose! Rosssssee! Rose!"


Get it?

I guess it snapped me out of the movie's moment, because I couldn't help but giggle. My husband does that to me.

Have you ever noticed how many times "Jack" says "Rose!" in the movie Titanic? Well... we have. It would be a good drinking game- drink every time Jack says "Rose!"

You'd be sloshed by the time the ship sank.

I'm submitting a new law...

I know a lot of states in the U.S. are making it illegal to talk on the phone while driving, or creating rules that you must have a hands-free phone for your car.

I totally agree with passing the law. I HATE people who talk on the phone while they're driving. It's one of my pet peeves. I'm a pretty laid-back driver. I haven't gotten a ticket- any type of ticket- since I was 16 years old.

If you do the math, that was 15 years ago.

I make friends with cops.

I wear my seat belt.

I'm a safe driver, what can I say?

So I'll let other drivers do just about anything to me without a reaction. Stick your butt out the window for all I care. I'll just smile and wave for you to go on ahead of me.

But if you're talking on the phone, and not paying attention to where the hell you're going (but pretending you know what's going on- um, sorry but we can see you dont), you're going to get a big middle finger from me.

My kids still think of that finger as "tall man" so I can use it without consequence.

I'm also thinking about creating a new law. I know that talking on a cell phone can be very distracting to a driver, however, I think that driving with screaming, fighting kids in the car is even more dangerous. When my kids are strapped in, a foot away from each other, with nowhere to go, I can almost guarantee an argument. The newest is

"MOOOMMMMM! Ava is touching my seat!"

Ava, dont touch Jack's seat.

(Ava shrieks, Jack makes a spitting, swoofing sound)

Jack, dont use "the force" on Ava in the car, please....did I seriously just say that? (He's big on Star Wars right now)

"MOOOMMMMMM! Ava is looking at me!"

Ava, please stop looking at your brother. Dear god, where's the Xanax when you need it.

"Jack! Dont wook at me, Jack. Dont wook at me, Jack. Dont wook at me, Jack. Dont wook at me, Jack. Dont wook at me, Jack. Dont wook at me, Jack. Dont wook at me, Jack. JACK!"

(Ava is still working on her English, and she seems to think that saying the sentence 50-times over is more effective)

Do you see? I'm supposed to drive with this going on 2 feet from my ear?

As opposed to a simple phone conversation "Hi, how are you? I'm fine, thanks."

Umm, yea. So I thought a new law would be smart: no driving with kids in the car! But then I thought again, and realized that I would never be able to go anywhere, since I have my kids with me pretty much non-stop, all day, every day. (I'm getting tired just thinking about it...)

So maybe I can invent a car that has a separate, closed off, air tight, kid proof, and most of all sound proof area.

Then, they can just fight it out (they're strapped in...how much damage could they do?) and I could drive in peace.

You know you live in Las Vegas when...

Welcome to the 5th edition of "You know you live in Las Vegas when..." Wow, five of these already? I cant believe I've come up with so many things that makes living in Las Vegas unique, but I tell ya, there's never a lack of crap to write about!

So thank you, Las Vegas.

To read the past entries of YKYLILV, GO HERE. These are worth checking out. One of the blogs was even written by my beloved husband- so don't say I didn't warn you!

Seat belts buckled!? Make sure your tray tables are in their stored and upright positions.

Here we go!

You know you live in Las Vegas when...

A 70 degree day in January doesn't impress you. But a 70 degree day in June does.


Your kids have a snow day from school, even though there isn't any snow on the ground. (Seriously- this was too weird for me!) To read more about Clark County School's first snow day in 29 years, click here.


You know what a bank-owned home is, and there are ten of them in your neighborhood alone.


You plan for your summer vacation strictly to 'get out of the heat' for a few days.


Your kids have never owned a pair of snow boots.


You call to make yourself an appointment, and find out your family doctor is booked solid for the next four months. This just happened to me this week! Grr! Las Vegas health care is seriously lacking.


At a size 12, you're the "fat friend" in your group of girlfriends.


One of your coworkers is a "professional nude dresser." Seriously. How cool is that? Can you guess who it is? I think it'd be a blast to glue on pasties and jewels onto showgirls and dancers. How do I get that job?


Las Vegans, feel free to add your own YKYLILV ideas to the comments. I'll add them in an upcoming edition- and give you full props!

Have you entered yet?

Dont forget to enter my contest, if you haven't already! This is my first contest....my cherry-poppin contest....so be gentle.

I'm giving away my most favorite book of all time: Into Thin Air by Jon Krakauer.

All you have to do is leave a comment HERE.

I will randomly choose a winner in T-minus 6 days so hurry up and show your face (and your support!) in the comment box!

New Living-Las-Vegas reading is up!

I let a lot more of "The Housewife" come out in this article. It's about DATE NIGHT! You guys have heard me ramble about those already, but here's my more professional version of it. In other words- I'm behaved. Hehehe

Click below to read! Leave a comment and let me know what you think. Thanks!

Thank God for Date Night

Love Shecky's? Get more involved!

Think You Have What It Takes to Be a Shecky’s Socialista?

Score Cash, Event Tickets, Free Goodies and More!

What It Is:

Shecky’s Socialistas are a network of entrepreneurial, social, influential (and just plain fabulous!) women across the country who act as Shecky’s (www.Sheckys.com) local representatives. Shecky’s Socialistas will work directly with Shecky’s Promotions Department to help spread the word about Shecky’s, keep Shecky’s posted on what’s happening in their city, score VIP tickets to fabulous events and – the icing on the cake – get paid to do it!

What’s Involved:

A Shecky’s Socialista grows her very own “girlfriend group” (minimum of 20 women) to become “Shecky’s Insiders” by registering for Sheckys.com and/or attending cool Shecky’s events like Girls Night Out-

She discovers cool designers, boutiques, beauty brands, and spas/salons in her area… and refers them to participate in Shecky’s events -

She updates Shecky’s on trends and discoveries in fashion, beauty, fun, events…or anything cool that women would enjoy Who She Is-

She’s a trendsetter and/or a trendseeker-

A business-savvy go-getter with a passion for networking and socializing -

She is often an entrepreneur (or wants to start her own business), blogger, designer, boutique owner, group leader and/or a social butterfly -

She really values the unique friendships she has with various girlfriends -

She gets involved in social communities or projects (charities, alumni associations, her friend’s new business etc.) -

She loves fun, fashion, beauty, events and entertainment What She Gets-

20 percent commission on ticket sales-

Cash bonus for local business referrals-

Tickets to Shecky’s events, including Girls Night Out-

Shecky’s Famous Goodie Bags, worth up to $100 and stuffed with beauty products-

New products from hot brands to test/sample-

Great networking opportunities -

Other perks and incentives based on participation Shecky’s is now accepting applications for the 2009 Shecky’s Socialista program in the following cities: -

Atlanta-
Boston-
Chicago-
Dallas-
Denver-
Houston-
Las Vegas-
Los Angeles -
Miami-
Minneapolis-
New York City-
Phoenix -
Philadelphia -
San Diego -
San Francisco -
St. Louis -
Southampton -
Washington, D.C.

For more information and to apply, visit www.Sheckys.com/Socialista.

Me? Help plan a bachelorette party?

Yep. I'm helping plan my girlfriend, Stephanie's, bachelorette party. Does she seriously know what she's getting into letting little old me help? Just ask my friend, Nicole. I got 3 random dudes to give her their underwear the night of hers....

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No really. I'm having fun with it! There's going to be about 15 of us, and we're not exactly a *cough* tame group. Some of the ladies coming are pregnant, so we'll have to be relatively well behaved for their sake- at least until they get tired and go home to rest those baby bellies.

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Should make for some pretty good bloggin, right?
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The party is flapper themed. Sweet! Fun, right? I've been looking everywhere for just the perfect dress, but I dont like anything I've seen so far that's under 200 bucks. Maybe I'm being cheap. Humph.

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I've been pulling every string I know of, and dropping my "professional" name to as many hotels as I can think of to get a comped or discounted suite, and I cant get a room discount to save my life.

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Obviously, I suck a lot harder than I thought I did.

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Hard Rock offered me a discount on one of their suites. Its original price is $800, and they'll kindly offer it to me for $600. It's not even that big of a room.

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Are they high?

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What the fuck? I have money in the bank, and some serious credit card credit limits, but do they seriously think I can afford that? I've got other shit to pay for... like flapper dresses and booz and food. Even if a bunch of us chipped in, I'm not going to accept that offer- just in spite.

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Thanks, I guess?

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Anyhoo! We've decided on Mandalay Bay. Yay! I love it there, and the suites are much more affordable. Plus, Mandalay has a burlesque club called Forty Deuce, The Foundation Room (which I just happen to have a membership to), and Rum Jungle. We've been to Rum Jungle before, and it was awesome. They have go-go girls! How hot is that? Being a go-go girl is my dream job. Give me a shot of tequila and I will jump in one of those cages and dance all night. Click here to read about our last date night adventure at Rum Jungle.

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Now I just need to find a suite for all of us to meet up at, and for some of us to sleep at.

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The party is next month, so I have T-minus 4 weeks to get everything together. GULP!

Overall, my life is really tame- I work at home in my jammies all day, take care of my kiddos, and looking forward to my hubby coming home every night from work. It's events like this that give me something to look forward to. I even enjoy the planning part of it all! Can you tell?

The Housewife's weekend

If you want to read another blog post about what else I do on my weekends, GO HERE. In it, there's warm weather, gambling, and a big swimming pool!

Typical traffic 24/7 on the Las Vegas Strip.


Last weekend, we didn't have anything to do, so we made the brave decision to go down to the strip for some shopping. There are a lot of different places to shop on the Las Vegas strip, but my favorite is The Miracle Mile shops in Planet Hollywood. If you didn't know, Planet Hollywood used to be the Aladdin. The Miracle Mile has stores that I can actually afford to buy crap in, and the kids love it, too. The newest addition to the shops is a laser light show in the middle of the mall. Where else can you find a laser show in a mall? Ava was a little freaked out by the lasers (how do you explain what a laser is to a 3-year-old?), but she eventually got over it. Overall, she's my fearless child!

Jack and Ava enjoying one of the Miracle Mile fountains.


So next time you visit Vegas, hit the Miracle Mile shops at Planet Hollywood.

On our way home, I had the hubby drive me by City Center.

You can see some of City Center's buildings towering over the Bellagio Fountains.


Some of the structures in this enormous project are really incredible! The architecture is so much different than any other building on the strip....and it's HUGE. It's scheduled to open in late 2009, so we dont have much longer to wait. The anticipation is killing me! Locals know that there's already been a lot of drama involved with its history, including multiple worker deaths and even a strike. But MGM continues to build, and it's one incredible block to look at.

I took some pictures to share with you. It's hard to get a good perspective just from my little pictures, but this will give you an idea...

And from the other side of the block....more City Center buildings. They're beautiful, aren't they?

I'm telling you, people, this is going to be huge for the city of Las Vegas. Visit City Center's official website HERE.

Dont forget to enter my cherry-poppin CONTEST if you haven't already!

Then and Now

Today's "Then and Now" features my little baby, Ava. Today is her 3rd birthday. Part of me is incredibly sad that her baby years are over. She was such a sweet, snuggly baby.

However, seeing her grow into a smart, hysterical little girl is too good to wish I still had her as a baby. Enjoy.

THEN:

I was tired...can you tell?

Look at that black hair! I swear she's mine!

Her first birthday

NOW:

Do you see the snow she's trying to catch on her tongue? I took this picture just minutes after I filmed THIS.

Happy Birthday, Princess Ava!

I am ever so grateful

You guys are so awesome.


I am humbled and kind of embarrassed at the amount of support I've gotten over the last few days over my little whine. I thought you guys were just going to bitch-slap me and tell me to shut up! But since you didn't...dont go getting any ideas, now.


Really! Thank you from the bottom of my little black heart! I've met some amazing new friends, checked in with some really good old friends, and even my new Frenchman visitor has joined my cult! Thanks Pierre! You're the coolest French person I know...the only French person I know, but still the coolest! You're welcome at my house anytime. Just dont be surprised if I want to blog you again. *wink wink*


Okay, so let's talk about some more interesting things, shall we? How about my contest??!! And let me tell you, this prize is only the beginning. Remember, this is my cherry-poppin contest, so it's got to be a gentle prize.


The bigger dicks...I mean prizes... are still to come.


How do you play for the prize? Link The Housewife Diaries in a post on your blog. If you dont have a blog, well then you suck and just leave me a comment to enter. But for the bloggers- let everyone on your blog know that I'm having a cherry-poppin contest. Once your post is up, come back and leave the link in my comments. So then I can come and harass you. Heehee. And that's it! You're entered!


What's the prize?

It's called Into Thin Air and it's written by Jon Krakauer. Dont get disappointed- this isn't just a book. It's my most favorite book in the entire world. This book rocked my freakin world. And I think everyone should read it and have a copy of their own. Even if you dont think the story description sounds appealing....give it a chance. It will get you. And it's a true story. If you already own the book- enter anyway and give the book to a friend.

I will randomly pick a winner on Saturday, January 31st. Good luck!


And remember, this is only the beginning. I have a few more prizes lined up for future contests, including one from Uppercase Living (thanks Desiree!), and also a prize directly from Shecky's. The Shecky's people contacted me this week (how cool is that?), and want to collaborate. They've graciously invited me to their Summer '09 Girl's Night Out, and have offered to pass out some tickets to YOU the readers as well! You dont even have to live in Vegas to win tickets....to see all the upcoming Shecky's events that are being held, GO HERE.

And, if you win, and you dont have an event near you, I will personally buy you a beautiful piece of jewelry from the event here in Vegas and send it to you. I'll even try to work something out to get you your very own goodie bag. So there's no excuse!

Again, the current contest is to win my most prized read, Into Thin Air by Jon Krakauer.

Stay tuned for more upcoming contests and prizes!

Hope to see your entry and good luck!

One more thing....

Seriously people.

Do I suck THAT bad? I only have THREE followers? I know blogs that suck WAY worse than mine who have more followers than I do.

So please, can you sport me a little love? My 5-year-old, Jack, talks shit to me all day long... so I could really use some love!

Just click the little "Join The Cult" thingie to your left on my side bar. See then I can go back to Jack and tell him that at least someone likes me, and poo on him.

It's the little things....

...that get me off. Yuk yuk yuk!

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By the way, don't forget that I'm still putting the finishing touches on my very first contest...so keep a look out for that!

Girl's Night Out - Housewife Style

My girlfriends and I recently got together for our second adventure at the Las Vegas Shecky's "Girl's Night Out" event hosted by Tao nightclub. By the way, if you ever come to Vegas, and want to dance the night away at a nightclub, go to Tao. It's the best. Here's the view from the front patio. Pretty, eh? While I was standing there, appreciating the view, I got to see the Mirage's new volcano show...did you know they completely revamped it? Now you do! It was fantastic, btw.
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Want to read about my first experience at a Shecky's event? GO HERE.


If you dont know Shecky's, you should. The event brings together a ton of designers so you can shop your little black heart out, and even offers OPEN bar. As I've said before; there's nothing quite like drunk shopping, in a nightclub, shaking your butt to the music as you go, and acting like a total idiot.
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At least that's what I like to do. This event is always so much fun!



Here's my friend, Steph, trying on a flask garter.....sexy! She's getting married in March so this will go perfectly with the wedding dress. Don't you think so?










There were lots of sparkly things to gawk at. Some very talented jewelry makers were there to showcase their pieces.

An very smart thing that Tao did was round up ALL of their men workers, and put them behind the bars. And to my surprise, they men were all very nice, and very patient.
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Let me explain the patient part. Being a former bartender myself, I can totally sympathize with having to deal with annoying, drunk women. They talk too loud, they scream and cat call a lot, and they just act dumb. Well, I'm not ashamed- this is exactly what my girlfriends and I do, too.
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We're chicks, we can't help it.

So while we're having the time of our little lives, the bartenders and bouncers were all very patient and gracious to us. The let me take their pictures, and hang on them, and cat call all I wanted.
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Don't believe me? Just look:





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What can I say? I like to make friends with the bouncers. They were the biggest dudes I've ever seen...but they were pussycats! Meow!
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All of the Tao people were excellent babysitters...I mean hosts....and I thank them for that.

Our group of chicks got bigger as the night, and the alcohol, went on. Isn't it amazing how, when you're drinking, any stranger can be your new best friend? Luckily, these ladies were very nice. You can see that we stocked up on the infamous goodie bags, too. I love getting those damn bags! -

And so, another Shecky's event has been put to rest. Until next time....
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To see if there's a Shecky's event near you, GO HERE.
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The Housewife gets a visitor

I recently turned my husband onto Facebook. He fought me for a long time about it- not wanting to join. But I told him "just put your name out there- I promise that people will come and find you!" He finally broke down and did it.

Now, two weeks later, he has more than 70 friends. Told ya! Ha!

About 5 days ago, he got an Facebook email from someone who he hadn't seen in 23 years. They met as teenagers- my husband traveling with his father, and Pierre- a foreign exchange student from France- staying with his host family. The two of them spent the summer together playing soccer and hanging out, and kept in touch for a few years after that summer. But then, as a lot of friends do, they lost touch.

And then 5 days ago, Pierre was visiting California (he still lives in France) and found my husband on Facebook. They talked, and we invited Pierre to come and visit. He picked up the very next day and drove all the way here! So these two men went from not talking for 23 years, to sitting in my living room reminiscing about old times over beers... in the span of 5 days! Amazing. The internet is an incredible thing.

Anyway, I could listen to Pierre talk all day. I wanted to share my ignorant American gawking with you. It's not every day that I get a Frenchman in my house. Pierre was very gracious in letting me solicit him.

Enjoy, ladies! Wink wink!

Exciting News!

I'm pregnant!


Okay okay, just kidding. I'm not pregnant. Did I get you? My husband got the little snippy snip right after Ava was born. Can you say we knew we were DONE? I recommend the snippy snip to all you sluts out there who hate worrying about birth control like I did. It's very liberating being able to just jump in bed and go.

In case you wanted to know.

Okay then! Back to the real exciting news!

I'm having my very first contest!

I know there are a hundred bloggie contests out there already, and you've probably participated in 1 or 2 or a hundred, but this is my first. Just like sex, there's no contest like your first! I'm going to lose my contest virginity.

Be still my heart.

So stay tuned. Details to come.

Get out of the fridge!

It's my last night of holiday freedom from work, so to celebrate, I'm drinking. I don't like to drink my own stuff, either. The beer that my husband bought for himself tastes much better. That way, too, I can save my own booz for a better day. Since he steals my words, I can steal his beer. Fair is fair, right? I've been saving the beer drinking for special occasions, since my ass doesn't need to get any bigger.

What's on my mind tonight?

Do kids ever stop asking for shit?

I swear my kids take turns asking me for something- anything- every five minutes ALL day long. I think they get together every morning and plan out their day- how to make mom run and piss her off.

I try really hard to be attentive.

I'm not exactly making myself look like the good mom here- I'm blogging right now- that means I'm yelling at my kids to leave me the hell alone for ten minutes...and I'm drinking.


No more wire hangers!


Did you get that one?

Yea, I'm a great mom.

But even when I'm not doing those things, my day is all about servicing my 5 and (almost) 3 year old.

From Ava, I mostly get food requests. Really they're more like demands. The girl eats twice as much food as her older brother. I have nightmares that she's going to be one of those Jerry Springer kids where the parents have to chain the fridge closed. She's constantly asking me for something. And if she's not asking for food, she's crying. Girls I tell ya! (I can hear my mom in my head laughing hysterically feeling very liberated)

Jack is getting a bit better about his demands in his old age. Two things are in my favor with him. 1- he doesn't care about food. If he doesn't like something, he just doesn't eat. Me, being a foodie, doesn't get this AT ALL. But whatever. The kid lives off of granola bars, meatballs, and cereal. 2- my husband bought him a Play Station 3. If I need him to shoo, I tell him to go play and he's gone for two hours.


Like I said, I'm a great mom.

New Music Sunday - I had fun writing this one

I stumbled upon this new music feature that Blogger is offering. It's called iLike, and it lets you create your own play list widgets. I know there are like a hundred music widgets already out there, but this one seemed really easy- because you dont have to download your own music.

What I don't like about it? It takes up a lot of space! Chick-ee-check it out below on my right side bar. I left my old music list up, just in case I decided I didn't like this new gadget. Apparently it lets you play the full version of some songs, but not others. Who the hell knows why they chose the songs they did? It also gave me loading errors when I first put it on here....did you have errors loading my page?

Anyway, I love love love music. This list is just a few of my all-time favorites. They all bring back very specific memories for me.

For instance, Tori Amos' "A Sorta Fairytale" reminds me of my honeymoon back in 2002. The album had just come out, and Matt, trying to be the good new husband that he was, allowed me to listen to it non-stop in our rented convertible during our California-coast road trip.

Or "The Voice" by The Moody Blues reminds me of my mom- she was a Moody's groupie, and I've seen them in concert 3 times.

"Catch The Sun" by Doves reminds me of my time living in San Diego in 2001, when my husband and I (who was my then boyfriend) went to see Doves at a very small venue on the San Diego beach boardwalk. Once the show was over, it was after midnight, and we drunkenly jumped into the ocean with all of our clothes on. A police officer- who was patrolling the boardwalk- saw us walking back to the parking lot, soaking wet, and laughing hysterically, and said "you guys aren't from around here, are you?"

"True Faith" by New Order (I LOVE New Order!) reminds me of my college-aged days, when my girls and I would go dancing every weekend. I think we danced every weekend for 2 years straight. It was so much fun! Ohhh, if I only had that kind of energy these days!

Depeche Mode in general reminds me of my two best friends, Katie and Jen, who are more like my sisters. We grew up together and used to sit in their rooms and listen to Depeche Mode, talk about boys, and plot our nights of sneaking out.

Steve Miller reminds me of high school, because I don't think I listened to anything else but Steve Miller during my junior year.

"West End Girls" by the Pet Shop Boys reminds me of the Columbine massacre. Kind of a funny thing to relate it to, eh? Well, I had bought Pet Shop Boys Greatest Hits the day before, and was listening to this song the afternoon I heard about what was happening right at that moment. Although it's a sad memory, it's still one of my all-time favorite songs.

"Little Wonders" by Rob Thomas is just a sweet, meaningful song that my kids and love to sing to each other. If you're a parent, you'll get the words. In those crazy, stressful moments as a mom, this song is my anthem.

Anyway, I hope this music gadget works out, because I had fun creating it and remembering all those crazy things that have made my life so far.