Thursday, November 12, 2009


I blame my crappy vocabulary on 1- my pregnancies and losing brain cells, 2- lack of sleep for the last 6 years, 3- talking to little people all day that use words like "poop" and "booger", and too many martinis in the last few years.

Yea,'s my fault. I did all of those things to myself. I got pregnant- willingly. I had babies- again, willingly. I taught those babies those "poop" and "booger" words. And as a former bartender, I mix my own drinks...strong. So I can blame no one but myself.


I think I used to have a really, totally awesome vocabulary.

My mom is a technical writer and is extremely cerebral. I grew up hearing very proper English and pronunciation. I was always corrected if I spoke incorrectly, and I'm grateful for that.

So when I left the house at barely 18, I felt pretty confident when speaking to others, particularly other (more word-experienced) adults.

Then I got pregnant and something happened. It was like I lost all memory of words longer than four letters. I'd be having a conversation and forget the word "mountain." It'd be like "Oh honey...look at the.....well, you know.....the.....the big rock thingie over there.....what's it called?"

Hubby- "Mountain?"

"Oh yea!" I'd yell. "Mountain!"

It only got worse as time went by. We moved to Las Vegas and the summer heat would turn my tongue-o into jell-o. Something about being unbelievably hot does things to my brain - it starts to shut down because it hates that I put it in 110+ degree weather.

More time went by, my kids started talking and, instead of talking politics with my bar regulars as I had done before kids, I was saying "boo boo bah bah!" during afternoons of mashed peas and sippie cups.

Not a bad thing, but it kind of sucked. The husband would come home from work and ask how my day was, and I'd answer "Little Jackie went poo poo and Ava oobie woobie doobie!" The hubs wouldn't snicker at me or give me looks of horror, bless his heart, but I think we both missed the grown-up, big-word conversations (preferably with lots of swear words mixed in).

Now days, since my kids are a bit older, I'm trying to get those big, "college words" back. I'll use them when talking to my 6-year-old - just for the hell of it. Like

"Jack, did you know there will be huge repercussions in democratic demographics now that Senator Kennedy has passed away?"


"Typically I promote gender equality and believe that gay marriage is a continued, positive progression of our often unrealistic society."

Jack usually doesn't mind. He just nods.

I hope that someday, I'll have my college words back and I can mingle with the big kids again. I'm working on it.


Big Red said...

If you get your big words back how I going 2 B able 2 understand U?

Harvard Housewife said...

lol. minimal adult interaction will do that to you. I have no kids but am trying to do a vocab word of the day so I stay sharp.

TTownDiva said...

Uh oh. You mean my loss of vocabulary is going to get worse?! I haven't even had kids yet.

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