Monday, October 18, 2010

Things on the Creep-Factor Scale

I have a little game I play with myself. I like to put things on my creep-factor scale. Here's a few of my favorites and where they stand.

Babies who read. Have you seen those commercials with the eight-month-old baby reading words and books? If not, go here to see it. Ok, first of all, what kind of parents feel the need to have their little baby read? This isn't fucking Harvard....the kid is one year old. Give the kid a few years to be a kid for fuck's sake. Creep Factor: 8

Levi Johnston posing nude. I know this is old news but, unless you've been living under a rock for the past two years, you know that Levi Johnston is Bristol Palin's baby daddy. He's taken every opportunity to blast Sarah Palin and even posed naked on the side. The kid is barely over 18 and the nekid pictures show him in the shower, towel over his ding dong, and water dripping off his body. Looking at the pictures gave me this gross, uncomfortable feeling like accidentally seeing my younger brother naked....gag. Creep Factor: 10+

People who sit/stand right next to you in an empty movie theatre, elevator, bus or otherwise. My big sister and I have a joke about this -- why do people do this? There's plenty of space to sit, why must someone sit right next to another person when there's ten million other seats around? Creep Factor: 7.5 (and totally annoying)

Speaking of Levi...

Bristol Palin trying to look "sexy" on Dancing With the Stars. Ok, god bless her for having the balls to do this, but watching her dance makes me so incredibly uncomfortable I want to turn away. It's like watching a 7th grade boy at his first dance. Yikes. Creep Factor: 4

Facebook Stalkers. Do you know the type? The Facebook friend that has to comment on EVERY single one of your pictures, Wall posts, friends' Wall posts, friends of friends' wall posts, and everything in between? Sure, I like to hear what my friends are thinking but...go clean your house for awhile or something and get off my page. Creep Factor: 6


Stephanie in Suburbia said...

Amen, sister! Add to the list medicla professionals that talk to you like you're 2. I got a flu shot and the lady goes "easy peasy rice and cheesy, right?" CREEPY!

Christy said...

Baby who reads = TOTAL CREEP FEST!!! I don't know what's worse, the babies or the creepy guy who created it. I'm right there with ya...let the kids be kids!!

Mrs. Jeremy said...

That baby thing is totally creepy!! I promise to stop visiting your FB page so much and clean my house more ;)

KT said...

Things that make you go hmmmmmm.
I let an 80 year old man put his hand on my leg at work. Maybe creepy, but also felt like a nice thing to let slide by. If he were much younger I would have been creeped out. If he were waaaaaay younger I would have been flattered.

Dedi said...

ITA with all these and the first comment about medical professionals talking to you like you're 2 or stupid. UGH.

One tip for the people that like to stand/sit inside your bubble. Cough, even if it's fake coughing, really play it up though "cough cough Hack ah-heh cough cough" finish off with a big SNIFF. They'll get so far from you so fast. OR mention your raging pink eye to whomever you're with and rub your eyes then start touching stuff. Entertainment & personal space.

Jane said...

Bristol is about as sexy as Kate Gosselin...Awkward!

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