Girls' Weekend - Update!

Last month, I went on a much-deserved, weekend staycation with my bestest Vegas gal pals. We planned it for months, and by the time we checked in to our Go Suite at The Flamingo, I could hardly contain my excitement. Two whole days of nothing but relaxing, gossiping, eating and drinking....how could anyone go wrong with that kind of weekend?

And if you know anything about The Housewife, you know that it wasn't a boring weekend.

Friday night we had dinner at Shibuya in the MGM. Great food, great service, great atmosphere...just not enough food. We girls weren't here to stay on our two-bite diets...we were here to EAT. We left happy but still hungry. Would I recommend the restaurant? Absolutely.

Here's Rosamarie and me on our way to dinner. Yes, I was drinking a vodka tonic out of a plastic cup. Very classy, don't you think?

That night we were all exhausted from our long week of being moms, wives and employees, so we headed back to our room for some pajama party fun. And of course we had to take incriminating pictures of the first girl to fall asleep that night...

I mean, if you cant act like a 3rd grade asshole on your girls' weekend, then when can you?

The next morning we woke up early, made bloody marys in our plastic cups and headed down to the Flamingo pool. It was packed to the gills by 9am! The pool here is the reason we stayed at the Flamingo. It's one of the best on The Strip.

We skipped lunch and had buckets of beer instead, and by the second bucket we were feeling good and telling secrets to each other that will never leave that pool. Then, in my typical crazy fashion, I got the idea that I wanted to check out the topless pool. Did you know The Flamingo has a topless pool? Well now you do.

The entrance is very discreet and the entire (adults only) pool is surrounded by walls and bushes (so not to scare the kiddies). We walked in giggling, sat down on a chair, and after only a moment's hesitation took off our tops. OMG! But hey, my boobs are *done* and I'm pretty proud of them- they look good. I've always wanted to sport them at a topless pool...just once...and now was my chance. Lucky for me, my girls were happy to go topless with me. So there we were...the Las Vegas housewives, hanging at the topless pool. Sweet.

Once I sat back to survey the pool, seeing other women's breasts flopping around (and trust me- they were flopping) wasn't that exciting. Ho hum. You've seen one, you've seen them all. Maybe it's different for a man but...it wasn't as exciting as I thought it would be. Maybe I'm tainted from all the porn I watch?

That was a joke, by the way.

I had a random conversation with the guy sitting next to me while basking. He started talking to me with "so, what do you do?" Um, okay dude. Nice line. I told him I was a writer (thank god I didn't give him my card because THAT might be a little awkward...) and we ended having a fairly decent conversation. But I did check myself once or twice- I'm sitting here with my boobs out, talking to a perfect stranger....

Anyway. It was fun. Would I do it again? Maybe.

On our way back to our room that afternoon, we watching wedding after wedding go on. Man, they really pack them in there on the weekends. Suckas!

After showers and a short rest in our room, somebody decided we should ride the roller coaster on the top of New York New York. It wasn't me that suggested it but...I was down. It's hella fun. Click here to ride it for yourself on youtube! We screamed like, well, girls, and made friends with the adorable gay man couple in front of us.

After the ride that left us feeling like old ladies - with sore shoulders and sore throats - we went to have dinner at Hofbräuhaus. If you've never been here...you need to go! This is the most fun you'll ever have in a restaurant. There's huge mugs of beer, great food, and lots of singing at the top of your lungs. There's a band that plays hysterical songs and the entire place sings along. We had such a fun dinner and it was one of the highlights of the weekend.

Nice Jugs.

I dont know how many ounces these beers were but none of us had a problem finishing them.

I stupidly went to the bathroom at some point during the night (heaven forbid I have to pee), and while I was gone my girlfriend asked our server to bring over The Paddle. Evidently, giving spankings is a common occurrence at Hofbräuhaus. And stupidly, I agreed to be paddled.

Look at the server's evil face....that bastard! He obviously enjoys his job (and I would, too heehee). He whacked me as hard as he could. He did have my HUGE ass for a target.

Ummmm, it hurt like a sonofabitch and I had a black and blue bruise in the shape of the paddle for five days after that. Ouch. I even took a picture of my bare-assed bruise and sent it to my girlfriends. Thanks bitches....*cough* I mean girls. I'll keep this picture for posterity.

After dinner we ran around the Hard Rock casino for a bit, I got hit on by a lesbian (yessss!) and we played a game called "real or fake?" with random men. I'll let you guess what the game was about.

We ended the night dancing our asses off and appreciating the very gay, but very HOT male go-go dancers at Piranha. Believe it or not, but I had never been to a gay club before this. But now... I am hooked. I had the best time! The employees were so sweet and friendly, the men were great dancers (hallelujah!) and we didn't get hit on AT ALL! Being able to dance and not have some toolbox dude come up and start rubbing his you-know-what on us was so liberating. So Piranha, watch out, cause I'm coming back from more. Ladies- I highly suggest trying out a gay club if you get the chance. Dont be scared!

Sunday morning came too soon, and we had an early lunch of red beers and greasy burgers at Margaritaville. Here we are on our way out of the Flamingo. I had an incredible time, but I was totally exhausted and missing my hubby and kids by then. I was happy to go home and snuggle with them.

So girls...same time, same place next year? Who wants to come?