Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Deep Thoughts

You know something I cant stand? People who park their carts in the middle of the aisle at the grocery store, and don't move their asses when they see you coming. I mean, seriously, are you that engrossed in the Frosted Flakes and Cheerios that you can't move your shit over so I can pass? I have two screaming, fighting kids with me, you might as well move or I might sick one of them on you.

There's something about Las Vegas and people driving with popsicles. I've noticed that locals like to drive around town eating a freaking popsicle. I know it's hot. I know they're good. But how about a soda instead? The last thing I want to pull up next to is a huge dude giving a popsicle a blow job. I need to make a bumber sticker: MAPD - Mother Against Popscicle Drivers.

I desperately need to get my hair done. I cant remember the last time I had it cut and colored. At first it was like, yah, roots are in, dudes....I did this on purpose.
Then later it was like, yah, I'm a career woman, I don't have the damn time to get my hair done.
NOW, it's like, yah, my hair is disgusting....I know. Stop fucking staring.

I turn 32 on Friday. Wow. This is one of those years that I could really give a shit how old I am or that it's my birthday. It's not a bad feeling, maybe just denial? I think I'd rather stay 31 instead... if no one objects.

And last, what the fuck is up with Kate's (Jon and Kate) haircut? I HATE it. I keep staring at it, trying to figure it out. Is it short? Is it long? Is it blond? Is it brown? Has she turned lesbian? Maybe? If that were the case it would sure make some good TV.


Michelle said...

Thanks for the laughs!

Valerie said...

HAHAHAHAHA! OMG I have never seen someone driving and eating a Popsicle! Wow.

You are hilarious. Happy Birthday (early) by the way!

Yea not a fan of her haircut!

Rita Templeton said...

- Oooh, I don't like Kate's hair either.

- Oddly enough, I'm not sure that I've ever seen someone driving while eating a Popsicle ...

- Aisle hogs are one of my pet peeves, too. Incidentally, so are the words "pet peeve."

- Happy (early) birthday! :)

The Mom Jen said...

Happy early birthday, and Kate's hair is on crack!

A Big Ball of Stress said...

Hey..happy early birthday.

As far as getting your hair done...I think you should get it done like Kate's!!!! Wouldn't that be a hoot??? ROFL ROFL (I am running away very fast!! LOL) Thank God you are on the other side of the country from me..I can just feel you smacking me. LOL

Monica said...

Happy Birthday!! (in case I miss you on the actual day) I'll be 32 later this year and I honestly thought I was going to be 31 until my darling husband made me count from 1977 to today. I'll live in denial with you though :)

I am right there with you about aisle hogs! It drives me mad.

Popsicles while driving? That's a little weird to me.

NucMEd is Hot said...

No one should drive with a popscicle, it's plain wrong. Kate's hair is horrendous and it's her punishment for being a rancid bitch. I encountered an abandoned cart in the middle of the aisle at the store yesterday. With a dude blocking the other half the ailse, I turned around and left, couldn't deal with it.

Mrs. Jeremy said...

Damn, I was totally going to get my haircut like Kate's today.
I hear you on the cart thing!! Who'd think you could get road rage in the damn grocery store...

PorkStar said...

that haircut is totally dikey. Me thinks : )

TTownDiva said...

LMAO! You are hilarious. Kate does look a lesbian.

Cathie said...

I also hate that about shopping carts.

I do not watch Jon and Kate nor do I care about their train wreck of life. I like my hair. Normal and not on crack, okay it is frumpy and frizzy. Stop staring at it!

Vegas Linda Lou said...


About the grocery shopping carts... My pet peeve is when you're in back of someone in line who has a cart, but not too many items, so that after they get checked out, they just walk away with their bags and leave their friggin' cart there for you to deal with. Pisses me off! So now I give the cart a good shove, and with any luck it nails them in the back of their ankle. Then I smile and say, "You forgot this."

Kate's hair... fucked up, sister. Fucked up.

Tiff said...

I LOVE U!!!! I'm just catching up on your blog...ha..ha..ha...! I don't ever want to pull up next to a dude stuffing his face with a popsicle...eewwwww! Make me a bumber sticker too! I needed to laugh...thx!!

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