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Friday, May 29, 2009

Facebook

Let's talk Facebook, shall we?

I have an account, and to my surprise, I have a lot of friends. Like, more than 200. I don't really know how I got all of these friends, but it's cool just the same.

Let's talk some shit about my Facebook friends. It'll be fun. I'm sure you can relate to at least one of my shitty comments.

Who needs high school reunions anymore when you have Facebook? I get all I need to know (and sometimes WAY more than I need to know) about every... single.... fucking.... person I went to school with from 6th grade and on. I even have some friends on there that I haven't seen since Kindergarten...but we're Facebook friends now so that's good enough for me!


I also found out that a dude I "dated" in 10th grade is now gay. I say "dated" because mostly it was just me having sex with him and then him dumping me. Jackass. That was called "dating" back then, at least by sluts like me. So now he's gay. Sweet. But it's cool. He had a really small penis, anyway.


And then there's the other guys from high school that were popular, but total tools. You know the type? Now, those tools are bald and have 6 kids. (Insert evil laugh here) One of those tools on my friends list is totally disgusting looking, but has an amazing looking fiance. All I could think when I first saw his pictures was....


"How the HELL did he get that hot piece of ass?"


Seriously.


Then there's the girls who were chubby in school, and now run freaking marathons, eat cucumbers for every meal and look incredible.


Bitches.


Then there's the girls who were really nerdy in school- skinny as a rail, glasses, buck teeth (god, I'm a nice person, aren't I?). And NOW they are gorgeous and slender with a boob job and a rich husband.


Bitches.


Then there's the people who you don't really want to be friends with because you have some fucked up, drunk pictures of yourself, or pictures of you licking your husband...whatever, but you kinda have to accept them as a friend because you don't want to piss them off?


Like your mother-in-law for instance.


Totally awesome.
-
I'm not talking about me, of course.

12 comments:

Katie said...

Ok, ok so who was gay? You never told me about this!

I so agree, what's up with these bitches that are tiny, tan and have huge boobs all of a sudden? Ughhh, it's like High school all over again!

Rita/Fighting Off Frumpy said...

... Or how about the people you went to school with but never talked to, but they request you anyway just because you attended the same school?

I don't know if this applies to people who went to bigger schools, but my entire high school had about 400 people - and about 20 of them are on my friends list just because they went there too.

Michelle said...

I am with you! Facebook is awesome!

erin said...

I love facebook funny talking. It's funny that I complain about it, and then use it daily.

I linked you over at my bloggity blog. I'd link you here but I don't feel like it. Do some work!

Liam said...

My parents were on facebook at one time...

First thing my mom did was write on my wall "Liam, this is your mother, why haven't you contact me?" Oh geez.

She left without saying anything... My dad stayed a little longer then left in a huff... Seems my 18yr old neice (his granddaughter) wrote on her own wall "It's St Patrick's Day, Fuck yea!" to which he replied "I now know Facebook is not the place for me" and deleted his account.

Okey dokey then.

Liam said...

I went to a small school in a small town... I've since moved to a major city. I'm still awestruck by the "popular" people from school who stayed in that same town and now have the exact same hairstyle and three redneck kids and are still doing the same stupid shit as when they were in HS some almost 20 years ago.

Tasha said...

Liam I am totally cracking up about your parents. That is freakin hysterical! Fuck yea!

And I'm with you on the old high school friends with the exact same hairstyle. I should have included that! So funny.

The Angry Georgian said...

You know, I saw this over on Erin's blog and I think I might write my own entry about it tonight (or tomorrow, depending on how lazy I feel tonight). I really like Facebook, especially the way everyone's so different than they were in high school.

September said...

Jesus, did you hit the nail on the head or what.

I was chubby and nerdy in high school and now I have to laugh at the seeing the cute petite chicks with the big boobs that all the guys had the hots for never did leave the hick town you grew up in or lose the baby weight and said tits are now hanging south.

Though I do think it's funny when you hook up with people who you never really talked to at all and now you have a whole lot in common.

Mrs. Jeremy said...

How the hell do you have 200 friends? Damn! I hate it when people I faintly remember from high school try and friend me on Facebook-denied! I don't want them up in my business.
And I hear ya on having too many "going out" photos. People probably think all I do is get drunk and party...I only do that half the time.

Miss Yvonne said...

It took me awhile to get on facebook, and one of the first things I read when I did was my sweet little 16 year old niece saying "Fuck this shit".

Awesome.

My mother-in-law friend requested me today on facebook. Great, now I have to stop saying fuck on there.

Damn it.

Mrs. C said...

haha you are hilarious! It's crazy the people you find on Facebook. Or rather the people that find you!

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