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Sunday, April 5, 2009

Buying booz used to be fun....

....now it just makes me feel old. This week I was buying beer, wine and pre-made margarita mix. With all the shit I've had to go through in the last few weeks, those three things have almost become staples in my house- like water, bread and milk.

Almost.

So anyway, this week I was at the store, alone, strictly to buy the booz. Here's my "good mom" thinking; I dont like to buy a bunch of alcohol with my kids around. They don't need to see it, and I don't need to be stocking up on beer with my kids in tow. I'll buy a bottle of wine when they're with me for our weekly shopping trip, but that's different. This trip was my "stocking up" purchase. So the kids stayed home with their dad.

I have to draw my parenting limits somewhere. You understand.

While I'm at the self-checkout station, the attendant lady comes over, takes a look in my cart (I hate this part), and then her eyes slowly move up to my face. I stare back at her. She's obviously searching her mental database for a guess on my age. I know this because I had to do this very thing for almost ten years working in a bar. I smile sweetly, hoping for "the question" and she goes-

"You're good."

"Don't you want to see my ID?"

"No, that's okay. You're good."

"Are you sure? You don't want to see it? I'll show it to you..."

"Um, no, I don't need to see it." Now she's starting to look a little uncomfortable.

"Do I really look old enough not to be carded?"

This is when she smiles tightly and sort of walks away without answering me.

You're good.

Thanks lady for making my day. Now I'll head home, put on some anti-wrinkle cream and cry in my beer.

Sniff.

14 comments:

MamabearMills said...

AHaahahha! Remember the days when we would "fish" for beer??? Did you ever do that? I used to get a high trying to get someone to buy my beer or for me to use my fake id without looking like an asshat! hahahha. I still get carded, but I am only 28. I have freckles for days, so that makes me look younger.

Susie said...

ROFLMBO! That's good stuff, girl. They didn't card me last time, either. But I had my 9 year old daughter with me.

Phat Mama said...

Booo! That woman is obviously blind!


Good thing you stocked up though to drown your sorrows.

Devorah said...

Hahaha! I feel your pain! I was bitching to Amir just a few weeks ago that I used to get carded ALL the time in the casinos but now I haven't been carded at all in a few years! And then a few days later I got carded. Woohoo! I wanted to kiss that women. So crazy how something so small can make you so happy!

Nicole said...

I cant remember the last time I was carded! This getting old thing sucks!!!!

Mommy (That's my name, don't wear it out.) said...

I'm with ya girl...I would give me ear to be carded once again.

erin said...

I had an embarrassing moment where I asked a waitress to stop calling me ma'm. She was like 20 and I'm only 27 and look younger, but she kept calling me ma'm and I just lost it. I say, and I must have sounded like the world's biggest turd/bitch, "Can you please not call me ma'm. I'm really not old enough to be called that."
Jeremiah shot me a look of death across the table and complained about it all night. I apologized later, but the girl's face was so red I knew the damage was already done.

Miss Yvonne said...

It used to bother me when I stopped getting carded, but then some smart ass waiter was all "hey there young lady, can I see some ID because you sure do look underage" wink wink, nudge nudge. And that's when I realized I was officially old enough to be considered old enough by 21 year olds to tease about being too young to drink.

Lizzie said...

i hear you :( they stopped carding me quite awhile ago, it sucks. But OH well, had to happen sometime i guess... they should give out free t-shirts when we reach this point in life.

Mona said...

Heehee! That happens to me all the time!

Vegas Linda Lou said...

Just the fact that you could possibly get asked for ID makes me long for the good old days! Now I couldn't get carded by someone with a guide dog and a white cane.

TTownDiva said...

I know exactly how you feel!

Former Fat Chick said...

ha-ha Everytime I get carded my HUBS says- "Aw honey, he just thinks he can get some cougar love" Bastard is jealous cuz noooooo one ever cards him!

I got here from Piece of Coco, my big sis!

Valerie Cesari said...

or you could be like me and get carded for Nyquil. just found your blog...super cute!

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