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Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Um, OW!


Remember when I said my toenails were hurting? It was because of those damn, devil shoes that I wore to the flapper party? I should have known the devil made them since they were red, patent leather.


Who knew the devil dealt in shoes?


Anyway, last night, my toenails FELL OFF.


Well, not so much as fell off, they just sort of came off. But not the whole thing...just half on each big toe. So imagine cutting your toenail in half (across), and then ripping it off. Mmmmmm


Apparently the shoe rubbed and bruised the skin underneath my nail so badly that it caused a big purple blister (remember this is UNDER the nail) on each toe. Once it swelled, the pressure caused me so much pain I could barely sleep at night. It was this constant, deep throb. Ha- now I know why they hurt so bad! So last night, I went to cut the nail down to get some neosporin in there and the nail just pulled right off. No pain involved, but it was so creepy and gross peeling my own nail off. I'm not even going to describe what was under the nail. Use your imagination.


Yeah. Totally hot, right?


I haven't been to the gym in over a week because I cant get my damn running shoes on. I'm going to gain ten pounds because I don't have any toenails? Sweet.


So if you happen to see a cute pair of red, patent-leather, Mary Jane heels burning in a big ass bonfire by the side of the road, you'll know it's me. Bring some of your own shit- you can burn it, too.

13 comments:

Liam said...

I'm sorry they hurt you... but is it right to destroy such a sexy shoe?

Nicole said...

Ugh you just made me feel all queesey (how the hell do you spell that?). You know when something grosses you out because you know it is painful and you get that wierd throbbing feeling? Yeah, just got that. Sorry, that sucks. Guess you can throw those shoes out!

Miss Yvonne said...

Holy crap, my toes are totally curled under after reading this. Gah!

The Mom Jen said...

DAMN Jimmy Choo needs to reimburse you! Hot shoe though, maybe the Payless brand will let you keep your toenails next time?!

Gini said...

"I'm going to gain ten pounds because I don't have any toenails" OMG I almost peed myself. Too funny!

Sassypants Wifey said...

Those bastard shoes... dontcha hate when cute shoes go bad. Just a shame. Makes my heart a little sad just to think of those cute shoes being so dang mean.

AmyG said...

Sounds extremely painful. :o( Hope they heal quickly!

Cathie said...

Tasha You crack me up! So the Devil doesn't wear Prada then, she wears Jimmy Choo?

Steph said...

holy crap, were those really jimmy choos? I can't believe your nail fell off. Battle wounds.

Big Red said...

Oh that's is hillarious. Another casualty of Stephs party...your toenails. :)

Vegas Linda Lou said...

OH, GOD!!!

But cute shoes...

Danielle Miller said...

I use to do ballet. Great for the body, bad for the feet. Same thing. Losing a toe nail is no big deal. Not after the first time anyway! But damn girl, those are awesome heels! They're worth a little bit of pain!

TTownDiva said...

Ouch! I'm hurting just reading about it.

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