Remember when I said my toenails were hurting? It was because of those damn, devil shoes that I wore to the flapper party? I should have known the devil made them since they were red, patent leather.
Who knew the devil dealt in shoes?
Anyway, last night, my toenails FELL OFF.
Well, not so much as fell off, they just sort of came off. But not the whole thing...just half on each big toe. So imagine cutting your toenail in half (across), and then ripping it off. Mmmmmm
Apparently the shoe rubbed and bruised the skin underneath my nail so badly that it caused a big purple blister (remember this is UNDER the nail) on each toe. Once it swelled, the pressure caused me so much pain I could barely sleep at night. It was this constant, deep throb. Ha- now I know why they hurt so bad! So last night, I went to cut the nail down to get some neosporin in there and the nail just pulled right off. No pain involved, but it was so creepy and gross peeling my own nail off. I'm not even going to describe what was under the nail. Use your imagination.
Yeah. Totally hot, right?
I haven't been to the gym in over a week because I cant get my damn running shoes on. I'm going to gain ten pounds because I don't have any toenails? Sweet.
So if you happen to see a cute pair of red, patent-leather, Mary Jane heels burning in a big ass bonfire by the side of the road, you'll know it's me. Bring some of your own shit- you can burn it, too.
13 comments:
I'm sorry they hurt you... but is it right to destroy such a sexy shoe?
Ugh you just made me feel all queesey (how the hell do you spell that?). You know when something grosses you out because you know it is painful and you get that wierd throbbing feeling? Yeah, just got that. Sorry, that sucks. Guess you can throw those shoes out!
Holy crap, my toes are totally curled under after reading this. Gah!
DAMN Jimmy Choo needs to reimburse you! Hot shoe though, maybe the Payless brand will let you keep your toenails next time?!
"I'm going to gain ten pounds because I don't have any toenails" OMG I almost peed myself. Too funny!
Those bastard shoes... dontcha hate when cute shoes go bad. Just a shame. Makes my heart a little sad just to think of those cute shoes being so dang mean.
Sounds extremely painful. :o( Hope they heal quickly!
Tasha You crack me up! So the Devil doesn't wear Prada then, she wears Jimmy Choo?
holy crap, were those really jimmy choos? I can't believe your nail fell off. Battle wounds.
Oh that's is hillarious. Another casualty of Stephs party...your toenails. :)
OH, GOD!!!
But cute shoes...
I use to do ballet. Great for the body, bad for the feet. Same thing. Losing a toe nail is no big deal. Not after the first time anyway! But damn girl, those are awesome heels! They're worth a little bit of pain!
Ouch! I'm hurting just reading about it.
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