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Thursday, February 5, 2009

Sometimes I wonder how I became me.

Have you ever wondered how the hell you got to where you are?

Some of the things are obvious.

I worked hard at my jobs.

I didn't marry my first long-term (asshole) boyfriend. Instead, I left him and pursued the only man that I had true 'love at first site' for. Luckily, he came around and noticed me....and married me! Score!

I stayed poor and had bad credit for most of my 20s, which made me work harder and appreciate the meaning of the dollar. And my credit score is 775 these days....

But....

There are some things that I cant help but wonder....

WHAT the hell happened?

First off is the 30 pounds that I gained when I went from age 29 to 30. Seriously, that bullshit about your metabolism changing at 30 is crap... right? Um, no. It's real. You bitches still in your 20s- you better plan a diet strategy NOW, because your 30s are going to rock your fucking world.

And not only your world, but your ass, too.

I bust my butt at the gym, I've cut out pop (aka soda), beer (dear god!), and heavy sweets (meaning NO Coldstone). And still.....nothing. Not a single pound lost. What the hell, body? I eat fat-free Jello for dessert, for christ sake.

This is what my world has come to? Jello?

Here's another thing I've evidently lost: my personal dignity.

I work from home. I work a lot. I love it but, I have to start my day on the computer at 5:45am. EEK! When I was bartending, at 5:45am I had JUST gone to bed! So these days I work almost full time hours, and I get up really early. Since I get up at 5:30am, I wake up and throw on whatever is convenient (laying on the floor)...which means I wear a very eclectic ensemble while sitting at the comp.

But ya know...I don't care.

And then I think, holy crap! I don't care? I'm sitting here working, in my purple tank top, no bra, my breakfast spilled on my boob (because I spill everything I eat on myself), and fuzzy blue (with orange stars) PJ pants.

So hot.

Most days, I take a shower at night before bed, and don't even bother to dry my hair before I go to sleep. Which leaves me waking up with really funky hair. My 20-something self would have been horrified at the going to bed with wet hair thing.

Sweet.

I hope no one comes to my door right now.

Anyway.

This is me. How the hell did I let myself get this way? I'm that nerdy, fat-ass, 30-something mom who thinks she's still cool?

I need to get over that.

22 comments:

Monica said...

That is too funny! I'm right there with you! Love your humor.

Cathie said...

I have just dubbed it: same shit, different day and hardly any pay.

Piece o' Coconut Cake said...

Oh, Tasha, Tasha, Tasha. I don't know how to tell you this-but your metabolism? It doesn't go at 30. It goes at 40 (along with the eyesight). I'm so sorry somebody lied to you.

Nicole said...

I love going to bed with wet hair and not really giving a shit! I do it almost every night and then my husband laughs at my stupid ass (and rats nest hair) in the morning! God forbid I should have to answer the door too.

PorkStar said...

that's not only tru for chics, we do the same, or at least I do. Now on the metabolism part, I'm on my 30s, and i'm still wishing I had a fat ass. Not happenining any time soon, regardless of how much I eat and my 13 hour a day sedentary position. The ass is just NOT growing!

dorindmikey said...

Tasha I was just thinking the exact same thing to myself this morning!!!! I do the same damn thing. I was having a cigarette at the side door this morning, with my messed up hair, no make up, dirty sweats and was so emberassed when my neighbour pulled up. I looked the other way and pretended I didn't see him!

TTownDiva said...

oh my God! I can soo relate to you right now since I'm turning 30 next month. I tell the girls at Chili's the exact same thing. You 18-23 year old bitches just wait until you get my age. I don't keep junk food in my house. I work out 5 times a week and my body still just wants to be fat, and I can't even blame it on having kids. Lord only knows what will happen when I have kids. And I totally went to sleep with wet hair the other night. Only I also went to work with my funky curly hair. I just don't care like I used to. My point is, you are BEAUTIFUL. The 20 somethings are still going to be getting drunk and having one night stands, searching for what they want to be when they grow up, being broke all the time because they don't have realy jobs yet, etc. but at least we have made it through all that!

Tasha said...

AMEN, sister! LOL!

Michelle said...

I totally understand! I re-launched my Mary Kay business a couple weeks ago which means I have been dressing up lately. My husband said he was thankful because he was beginning to worry that I just gave up!

How did we get here?

MilesPerHour said...

I'm sure glad i know how I got where I am and even more grateful I made it this far. I really enjoyed reading this and found it pretty humorous.

Kacey said...

I still think you're cool.

And yes, that thing about your metabolism changing at 30 is NOT a myth. It's a horrible truth.

Miss Yvonne said...

I feel ya on this one. I have to get up and do my hair and dress somewhat nice for my job. But I only make a half-assed effort. I'm more interested in making myself breakfast than putting on mascara.

P.S. I can't wait for those 20 something bitches to hit 30!

Gretchen said...

If I didn't have to leave my house for work, I would be the exact same way.

lovepink678 said...

I dont leave the house...ever. I feel ya. Lol too funny ;)

Jess said...

hahah this reminds me of my poem that starts "I never thought I had it in me to become who I am today."

Oh, and I'll keep an eye out for the 30 year mark. Thanks for the heads up haha

Fin said...

Clearly at 42 (or is it 43?) I have just embraced my fat ass and I wish for a job where I can stay in my nightie all day. We all have our dreams. :-)

Meg

Merrie said...

Just try to take joy in other things. You're 30 and you get to work from home. At 5:45am I'm up and preparing to leave soon for a one hour commute to a job that is alright and kicking my ass. Nice clothes and heels get tiresome by Wednesday. I'd trade places with you in a second! :)

Deb@Mommie Mayhem said...

Im with you! Great post !

Erin said...

This was an awesome take on how things change. Getting older is lovely, ain't it?

Vegas Linda Lou said...

GREAT post! I weigh as much now as I did when I was 9 months pregnant 30 years ago--WTF? It's so unfair!

Jazzy Cazy said...

I'm loving you're style. So long as you're happy, you love life and love where you're at then all power to you!

PS Am now DREADING my 30s re: putting on weight!!

JamericanSpice said...

Life happens :)

Oh NO no coldstone!!!!!!!!!!! I wish we had a coldstone here in Lafayette!

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