Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Stay tuned to another video blog- I have more gossip on my dumb neighbor. Juicy gossip. If you're not already educated on this crazy bitch, go here and read all about her. I'm lucky she doesn't know I have a blog, because if she did, I couldn't talk all this craptastic shit about her.
I'm finishing a blog about my most recent girl's night out. Lots of silly, drunken pictures- among others. It was another Shecky's event at the Venetian. Those are so much fun! I had a blast. That'll be up soon.
Also, today I just finished my next article for Living-Las-Vegas. It's titled "Date Night", and I feel really good about it. It has more of my "voice" than any article so far. I'll let you know when it's published!
Lots of smooches to you and your family. I wish you nothing but the best in the New Year!
Monday, December 29, 2008
During that period, I made some cop friends. And now, I get to go ride along in a patrol car with one of them every so often. It's a blast! If you've never been on a police ride along, but have thought about it, GO. You'll have a hell of a day. Even if nothing dramatic happens, you'll still get your kicks off...I guarantee it.
So my most recent ride along was the craziest yet. We answered multiple calls where we had to turn on the lights and sirens and go really fast (although I wont say how fast, hee hee). It was fast enough to where I was white-knuckled in the passenger seat....and I loved every minute of it.
We pulled over speeding cars, we answered dispatch calls- one of which was a burglary alarm call, and multiple squad cars had to set up a perimeter around the location- this picture is of my police buddy waiting for the bad guys to come out. Check out the gun, people! Luckily for me, I had to stay in the car for that part.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Just some belly laughs to brighten your day!
Friday, December 19, 2008
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Rosemary's Restaurant has started an amazing new program called Community Tuesdays. For the entire year of 2009, when you dine at Rosemary's on a Tuesday, 5% of your total bill will be donated to a specific charity. If you happen to visit on another day, and still want to donate, there will be a donation jar available. ALL of the proceeds from the jar will go towards the monthly charity.
If you'd like more information, you can email me at Tasha@thehousewifediaries.com, or click the Community Tuesdays link above.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Saturday, December 13, 2008
1. First, it's pronounced LOSS-VAYGUS. It doesn't matter how they say it in other places.
2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Las Vegas has it's own set of traffic rules. There's no book about them. All you can do is get in your car and hope you survive to learn them. (Seriously people- dont forget your balls at home, because you're going to need them on the roads!)
3. All directions start with, "Go down 95...'cause you don't want to get on 15."
4. Las Vegas Blvd, Charleston Blvd, and Torrey Pines have no beginning and no end.
5. It's impossible to go around a block and wind up on the same street that you started on. The Chamber of Commerce calls this a "scenic drive."
6. The 8:00 am rush hour is from 4:30am to 11:30am. The 5:00pm rush hour is from 11:30am to 10:15pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning and ends sometime late Sunday night.
7. If you actually stop at a yellow light, then you cannot be from Las Vegas. You may only apply your brakes when the end of a yellow light and the beginning of the red light create a "pumpkin-orange" hue.
8. If you like being an individual, don't even think of working for a casino. You'll be branded like cattle and made to walk all over town with your "Gaming Tag" around the collar of your white shirt or clipped on to your belt loop of your black tuxedo pants. 98% of the people within a 200 mile radius work for a casino. When someone says "Steve Wynn", casino employees are trained to face the Strip, hit their knees, kneel, and say "Praise Steve" three times. (Ha ha!)
9. Just remember that Camino Al Norte is Martin Luther King Blvd, Boulder Highway is Fremont Street, Eastern Ave is 25th Street or Civic Center Drive, Desert Inn is Lamb Blvd, Spring Mountain/Sands/Twain are all the same street. Don't try to figure it out. Just accept it. If you question the intelligence behind this naming convention, people will simply tilt their heads to the right and stare at you.
9A. Henderson is the only place in the world where THREE "parallel" streets intersect at one traffic light. That would be the 4-way of Green Valley Parkway/Eastern Avenue/Maryland Parkway. For laughs ask your middle school Geometry teacher to try to explain it.
9B. Rainbow Blvd. has THREE exits from the 95, this just makes giving driving directions to newbies more entertaining. There is also a Lake Mead "Drive" and a Lake Mead "Boulevard" and both run east/west but are 30miles apart. You have to be specific when you say "the corner of Lake Mead and.......". Again this is just another way to harass the 5000 newcomers every month.
9C. Many major roads just end abruptly at a house/Home Depot/Casino/McCarran International Airport Runways and start again after the interruption, that was done to encourage you to "see the sights" and meet new people. Just try to take Harmon Avenue from Rainbow to Nellis.
10. If moisture is determined to be rain, not sweat, all traffic must immediately cease. Ditto for daylight savings time, girl applying eye-shadow across the street, or a flat tire 3 lanes over. Do not attempt to access any road after an apocalyptic event like snow, blowing dust, or a 3-day weekend.
11. Construction on I-15 and US 95 is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment. I-215 will never be completed. Get used to it.
12. Stay away from the corner of Nellis and Las Vegas Blvd if you do not like the thought of being in a remake of the movie "Top Gun".
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
A little background on this week's conversation- I have this game, where I come up with a really ignorant word, and then use it as much as I can. There's nothing better than a (conservative looking) mom using the words "holy champagne supernova!" all day. Other past words I've already used out are "sweet", "craptastic" and "radical". If it's a really good word, it'll get a reaction like
"Did you just say radical?"
Get the idea? Okay, so my dear, sweet husband has started stealing my words. The nerve! Here's how it goes between us:
Him: That person's driving was craptastic.
Me: Hey...that's my word.
Him: I'm married to you, so I get to use any word you use... by default.
Me: Dude, go find your own word. I work really hard to find just the right ones....and then you go and take them for yourself. Go find your own damn word. (I try not to call my husband "dude" very much, but sometimes it just fits, ya know?)
Him: I like your words better.
Me: Have you even tried to come up with your own?
Me: Why not?
Him: Because I can just use yours.
Me: (Swears under my breath)
So now my goal is to come up with a word that is so bad, that even the husband wont use it. I'll let you know when I come up with something. Any ideas?
Monday, December 8, 2008
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Always wanted to know something about Las Vegas? Have a question about parenting? Or blogging? Or just want to be a smart ass and have nowhere to let it out? I know I feel like that ALL the time!
Welcome to Ask the Housewife! A blog where I will answer any question you throw at me.
Come on, make it a hard one. I will guarantee an answer to your question...I just dont guarantee what the answer will be. Hee hee
Monday, December 1, 2008
Here's an advertisement from the 50s: THEN
Nice, eh? Okay, first of all, this bra reminds me of how my boob looked at the Chef's Dinner...pointy! And what's with the creepy animal heads she's wearing? Is that a masquerade party, 50s style? Eww. That wouldn't have been be sexy and fun for me, it would have just given me nightmares...
Who wants to sleep with a hippo with pointy tits?
This is called the "plunge bra". Have you seen one before? A couple of my Vegas girlfriends have this bra, so I've seen it in action. I love my girls because, any time they get a new and improved bra, they are happy to share the news and show me how well it fits. We've had meaningful conversations about this bra! It looks amazing with a low-cut dress. I need to get one for myself.
The point of this bra blog? Bras have changed a lot in the last 50 years. Thank god.