Wordless Wednesday

The Date Night Diaries

If you missed the The Date Night Diaries blogs gone by, go here and here. For my birthday last month, my hubby had shopped for (all by himself!) and brought home a Bebe dress for me. I was excited to have a fun place to wear it out to. I will be the first to admit that I'm not really big on the "brand name" stuff. I don't care about labels....I care about cuteness. I am just as likely to wear a pair of Walmart Capri's than I am to wear a label. However, there is just something about Bebe that I love. I love almost every piece of clothing under the name.






I took the hubby to Rosemary's since he had never been. I had such an amazing time the first time I went, I just HAD to get back ASAP. And let me tell ya, it was just as good the second time. I ordered the "tasting" courses again, where you get 5 plates of a smaller portion of the chef's preferred food, while the husband had 3 courses of larger portions. All of our plates were fantastic. The service was perfection. As I've said before, skip the swank dining on the strip. Make a reservation at Rosemary's instead. You wont regret it.






We were enjoying our food so much that we almost showed up late for the main event- Kathy Griffin! Of course I didn't take any pictures.....because they weren't allowed......okay.....maybe... just... one.....or five. But I HAD to take something to remember that I was actually there! I had planned to get a T-shirt for myself and my friend, Dawn, but the lines were so damn long- full of hysterical gay guys that were really loud- that I didn't have the patience to stand in line. Which is why it made my pictures so essential.


Kathy was hilarious. The best part? Other than laughing until I cried, it was hearing her say "Fuuuuck!" instead of "F-BEEP!" like on TV. Sometimes, when I go long periods without a break from my kids, I start to feel like I need something adult to remind me that I'm still one myself. Hearing Kathy Griffin say fuck was just what I needed to remember I'm really 31, not 13. She made fun of the Lohans, Justin Timberlake, and most of all Miley Cyrus. She brought in a little shock factor, but I was surprised at how safe her routine was. I guess I was expecting my jaw to drop more than it did. This is Vegas, after all. It ain't Nebraska. Not that there's anything wrong with Nebraska! The thing I liked the most about her act? She is completely up-to-date. She was telling jokes about things that happened a few days before! Loved that. Would I recommend seeing her? Absolutely. As long as you don't mind her saying "holy fuck balls" every few minutes.


After the show, we hit the elevator in Mandalay Bay up to The Foundation Room. The place has amazing ambiance and, if you take a quick walk outside to their patio, you get views that no other hotel/casino can give you. It's fun to stand just outside the door, and listen to people's reactions as the first lay eyes on the view. "Wow!" "Holy shit!" and "Oh my god!" are common phrases there.









And, about an hour into The Foundation Room, My husband and I were tired and ready to go home. It was about 10:30pm. I know, I'm wild. But I had had my fill of fun for the night. Hopefully it wont be six months until my hubby and I can get out again....

My husband's guest post

My dear husband has agreed to do a guest blog on The Housewife Diaries this week. Since he cant manage to keep up his own blog (yea, you can delete that link, people), I'm encouraging him to guest host my blog instead.

This week's guest blog will be a MAN's version of "You Know You Live In Las Vegas When...". I can only imagine what he's going to list....can you? Thanks to Momto2boys for the idea.

Stay tuned!

A two year old with a pen =

This picture.

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My 2 year old, Ava, has kind of been driving me nuts lately. She's hit the stage where she thinks everything that's mine is really hers. Somehow she found a pen. Don't ask me how she got it...I didn't give it to her. And don't ask me about the time she found a pen and it exploded all over my living room carpet. I think she finds them, and then stashes them for a later date when I'm (not looking) doing something important.

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Just the utter disrespect for my things is enough to warrant me a padded room for at least a week. Okay, I know I shouldn't expect a 2 year old to know the general rules of human boundaries, but throw me a bone for this blog for the love of Pete.

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She eats my chapsticks, lip glosses, and anything else that isn't supposed to be eaten. The best part is she will kindly return them to where they belong when she's finished snacking. So when I go to use my lip gloss (and anyone who knows me knows I cherish my glosses) it's full of baby spit and chunks of something that kind of smells like apple juice.

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She dives into my underwear drawer and proceeds to put on as many pairs as she can fit over her head. She will come walking out of my room looking like a rainbow-colored mummy with lace trim.

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She colors on my desktop work calendar. That's okay Ava, I didn't have a deadline on that day, anyway.

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And her contribution to my insanity just TODAY was: She found our tube of toothpaste, got my toothbrush, and "brushed" the brand new, flat screen TV's face with it. I came upstairs (knowing it was just too quiet...) and witnessed her eating toothpaste right out of the tube, and saw the TV screen was COVERED in toothpaste. Sweet. I debated on whether or not to call poison control, because I didn't know how much toothpaste she actually ate, but I'm feeling crazy today so I skipped calling. They'd probably take ME in if they heard the story.

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At least she'll have fresh breath today.

You know you live in Las Vegas when...

Welcome to the second edition of "You know you live in Las Vegas when-"! If you missed the first one, go here to catch up.

1. You know you live in Las Vegas when all the women at your gym are either strippers, blackjack dealers, or stay-at-home-moms.

2. You know you live in Las Vegas when you do everything possible to stay off of the strip.

3. You know you live in Las Vegas when stripper pole lessons are the new aerobics classes. Feel the burn!

Featured bonus from Big Red (who also happens to be a good friend of mine- even though she wont admit it):

*You know you live in Las Vegas when driving in LA traffic no longer scares you.

*You know you live in Las Vegas when your toddler knows what a stripper pole is.

*You know you live in Las Vegas when you get a discount on your boob job because you work in a casino.

Thanks Big Red for the contributions! If you're a local Las Vegan, feel free to add your own YKYLILV to the comments section. If you're not a local, but have memories of visiting, add you're own "You know you're in Las Vegas when..." instead.

I'll feature them in an upcoming post!

Little Wonders

In the rare moments that my kids get along, they do cute stuff like this. But let me tell ya, I hate this thing. Try hearing yourself think (or work) while listening to this music play for oh, an hour straight or so....

It's enough to drive any reasonable person mad. Not that I'm reasonable but, you know what I mean.

And if you look closely, you'll see the little pink baby stroller in the background that Jack wears around the house as a mask.

The Housewife Diaries has a new address!

I am constantly working to improve my blog, and the newest is I have an easier URL to remember. Which means I'm easier to find! Check out my new address!

http://www.thehousewifediaries.com/

Of course the old address will still take you here, too, but the new url just makes things more fun. At least for me. Stay tuned for more fun changes!

Also, look for a new Date Night Diaries blog in the next few days because.....I saw Kathy Griffin last night! My hubby and I also had dinner before, and drinks afterward. Lots to share so keep a look out for it. If you missed The Date Night Diaries blogs gone by, go here and here. Or you can check out my nightlife. I'm lucky enough to live in a town that allows me to do some pretty cool stuff.

New Flash!

Big news in my work land.

iVillage and Blogher have become partners!

Oh yea, did I ever mention I work for iVillage? Heh, well I do. Technically I'm freelance, but I work under NBC, under iVillage.com. This morning they broke the news to us via conference call. BTW, it was very cool to be on a conference call with 25 other moderators- from all over the US and Canada- while we all listened to the big cheeses at iVillage tell us the exciting new things that we'd be promoting in the coming months. The women at iVillage have put their heads together with the ladies at www.blogher.com, and have created something so grand that I cant even begin to grasp it. This is going to be huge. I'm really excited to see where this goes!

So, if you're bored, go take a look at www.ivillage.com or www.blogher.com and read more about the breaking story. I'll be in and around there somewhere!

Music I Love To Love

I'm a huge fan of movie score soundtracks. I have a few composers that I love. John Barry and James Horner are my favorites, and I'm always on the lookout for new scores. This music is incredibly relaxing to me and brings back memories of the movie it belongs to. There's just something about movie scores that hits me differently than any other kind of music. Each song tells a story... and since I'm a writer who loves music, it's like getting my cake, and eating it, too.

I own a bunch of music like this and listen to it every now and then. The best part? The whole family likes it! Here's a list of some of my most treasured music.

Braveheart- track #11

Legends of the Fall- track #12

The Cider House Rules- track #18

Gladiator- track #17

My Life- track #1 (I had this song in my wedding)

Dances With Wolves- track #4

American Beauty- track #2

House of Sand and Fog- track #12

Field of Dreams- track #7

Blogtations

Have you been to Blogtations yet? It's bound to have you laughing after reading a few quotes. The owner of the blog updates it regularly, and even has a contest or two going. Go give her some traffic. Maybe she'll even quote you!

I'm quoted this week! It's my second quote on her blog. If you missed the first one, look here and scroll down a few.

Can you guess what line of mine she quoted this time?

Go here and scroll down to find out! It's dated for today- July 14th.

Conversations with DH

For all of you non-computer people out there, DH means "dear husband".....or "damn husband" depending on your mood. Heehee


The Scene: DH comes home from work early.


Him: Hi honey.

Me: You're home so early!

Him: Yea I had meetings so I didn't go into the office.

Me: You smell like fish.

Him: What?

Me: You smell like fish.

Him: I do?

Me: Uhhh, YEA. Gross.

Him: (smelling his hands) Well I went to McCormick & Schmick's for lunch and I had cod....maybe that's it?

Me: (seething because he always gets to go out to have yummy lunches like that and I am home eating cereal- so not fair!) Surrrrrrre. Where were you really?

Him: No, I swear...I had cod for lunch.

Me: You're sure you weren't spending time with some really smelly woman?

Him: Yea, I was, and her name was cod.

Me: Guess what's for dinner?

Him: (with a look of fear on his face...) What.

Me: Fish Sticks!



It's not every day that your husband comes home smelling like fish.

Friday Fun

My 4 (soon to be 5) year old son has hit a point where he is asking me the most bizarre, yet totally normal, questions. Imagine that this is your kid asking you this- completely out of the blue- so you're kind of mentally unprepared (at least I was...). How would you answer him? These have been asked just this past week:

1. What does traumatic mean?

2. Why does air make things hard? (like it you leave a piece of bread out, why does it crumble)

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3. Were does poop come from?

4. What happens if we don't eat food?

5. Why do people who don't have anywhere to live sleep in the park? (this one kind of makes me giggle....that's bad, I know)

6. Why is it nice manners to say thank you?

7. What happens if I don't sleep all night?

8. Why do you and dad lock your door at night time sometimes? (yea, don't answer this one)

9. Why does dad snore?

10. Why is it so hot in the summer time?

Okay seriously, this boy is FOUR. What the hell am I going to do when he's ten?

Yikes.

I am definitely intellectually challenged with trying to explain my answers in a way my 4 year old can comprehend, but still totally amazed at the level of his questions. I used to hate parents who talked to their kids like adults, but I catch myself doing it every now and then.....

How else do you explain where poop comes from?

You know you live in Las Vegas when...

Welcome to the very first edition of "You know you live in Las Vegas when-"

(Please believe me when I tell you that all of these things are true...)

1. You know you live in Las Vegas when you're at the grocery store and you pass Elvis and dont think twice (and no one else does, either).

2. You know you live in Las Vegas when (you've HAD breast implants and) everyone still has bigger boobs than you, and that includes the mannequins, the 17 year olds, the transgenders, and the drag queens.

3. You know you live in Las Vegas when it never goes below 90 degrees for 4 months out of the year.

4. You know you live in Las Vegas when most of your friends have had some sort of "work" done (or plan to in the near future).

5. You know you live in Las Vegas when the biggest talk of the town is the new casino going up.

6. You know you live in Las Vegas when your friends come to see "you" but disappear on the strip for 3 days. Then they call 2 hours before they're supposed to leave town for a shower and a meal.

7. You know you live in Las Vegas when all the kids you know go to private school.

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BONUS:

8. You know you live in Las Vegas when you go to a buffet for Thanksgiving dinner.

Local Las Vegans, feel free to add your own "YKYLILV" under the comments section. I'll feature it in an upcoming post!

I'm getting my dose of celeb gossip...

My husband just bought us tickets to see Kathy Griffin this month.

Yessssssssss! I don't have a babysitter yet, though. Not sure what I'm going to do about that. I've considered just putting a bunch of ice cream and chips out and telling them to put themselves to bed. Jack's pretty independent. But....maybe they're still a little too young for that at 2 and 4?

That was a joke, btw.

For a little snippet of what Kathy Griffin does, go here. I'm looking forward to laughing until my stomach hurts and hearing every swear word in the book. My husband and I are going to hit The Foundation Room afterward, too.

Stay tuned to hear how it goes.

Suck it, Jesus!

The Housewife's Birthday

Two of my close friends and I have a birthday tradition. Oh yea...did I mention it was my birthday a few weeks ago? No? Oh well, it was.

Mona (see 1st picture) for the second year in a row has taken Stephanie and me out to dinner for our birthdays. My friend Stephanie's birthday is 1 day after mine... and we're the same age, so Mona gets to kill to birds, err friends, with one stone.

What I love about these two is they love to eat, just like me. So I look forward to our birthday date every year, because Mona always picks the best restaurants. You can find her all over Yelp.

This year was over the top. Mona surprised us with a trip to Rosemary's. Neither Steph nor I had ever been there, but everyone who's anyone goes to Rosemary's. I had been wanting to go for years because I kept hearing how good it was. I will tell you, this place is one of the top places to eat in Las Vegas. Forget about the high priced, swanky restaurants on the strip- this place blows 99% of those away. If you ever come to visit, GO.

Not only are the dishes beautiful to look at, they're sure to please the taste buds. Steph and I had the "Dinner Sampler" - with beer. What this is is a 5 course meal with a different beer for each course. Not a whole beer (I'm a lush but I'm not that much of a lush), just a few ounces. Just enough to sip on while your taste buds explode with excitement.

There is just enough food in each course to leave you full, but still wanting more. The sauces on each plate are very obviously made slowly and with an expert's hand. Each bite of food has a different flavor. Each flavor goes perfectly with the next.

How could you not salivate over a plate that looks like this? I got to eat FIVE plates like this. Yum yum yum yum yum. The beer was even good. Lots of summery, light, hoppy flavored microbrews. I hadn't even heard of two of them, and I'm always thrilled to try new beer.

The funnest part of the date was the end of the night. It's kind of a long, crazy story but... long story short... Mona surprised Steph and me by taking us to Baskin Robbins. If you know Baskin Robbins, you know that they advertise having 31 flavors of ice cream.

Stephanie and I were turning 31. (yes, I'll give my age away...I'm not ashamed)

Mona had sneaked coolers from home into her car, pulled us into the ice cream shop (she literally had to say "GET in there now" to me because I wanted to go home lol), and then said we each got to leave with 31 scoops of ice cream! How cool is that?

So picture this: Stephanie and me kind of in shock (because we were so surprised), trying to order 31 different scoops of ice cream. Each. There was a lot of giggling and "oh my god's!", and we even made friends with the ice cream scooper guy.

So we walked out of there with two big coolers FULL of different flavored scoops of ice cream. 62 scoops to be exact. One for each year we've been alive. It was the end of a very yummy and very fun night.

I drove home that night thinking about how lucky I am to have such great friends. I walked into my 31st birthday thinking it was going to be just another day, and it turned out to be a great day with great memories to look back on.

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After all, how many people can say they got 31 scoops of ice cream for their birthday?

Happy 4th of July weekend

I feel very lucky to live in a country where we dont have to worry about people like Achmed The Dead Terrorist. For shits and giggles, here's a little video that is bound to make you laugh.

I know it's a little early, but...

You guys, I have totally come up with my Halloween costume for this Halloween! Can you guess what it is? Heehee.

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Too offensive?

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I saw an article on msnbc here, and it turns out that the FLDS in Utah is actually selling the clothes they wear- "as seen on TV". They only sell clothing for children, but I'll find something "nice" for myself somewhere.

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And anyway, I've always wanted my very own prairie dress. Who wouldn't!? I'm sure they're extremely flattering and sexy. Comfortable, too! I bet my husband would totally get off if I wore it in the bedroom.

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The overall look is absolutely fabulous! The dress, the no makeup, the hair- oh the HAIR! I figured since I did my hair like that in 7th grade (that was 1989- ouch), I could/would remember how to do it again. Apparently polygamists are allowed to wear hairspray, because there in NO way they get their hair like that without it. My preference for this particular style is Aqua Net. Remember that stuff? I lived for Aqua Net: style, hold your breath, close your eyes, and SPRAYYYYYYY!

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I just need a fake braid, right? The Prophet wouldn't allow a short-haired wife, after all. I'd be walking into the costume a sinner, and I'd like to save the sinning for later in the night with cocktails and swear words.

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I'm even going to recruit my girlfriends to be my sister-wives. My husband has graciously volunteered to be the husband. When I told him what I was going to dress up as, and that I was going to tell my girlfriends to too, he said "if your friends are going to be your sister wives, we husbands can "take turns" being the Warren Jeffs". Yes, take turns. So freakin funny.

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So what do you think? Will it work as a costume? Now I just need to find a party to wear it to...