Monday, March 31, 2008
Friday, March 28, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Books are especially exciting for us stay-at-home moms, since going to the friggin grocery store is about as much excitement as we get. I picked out books that I know I will like, since I'm not really into "story gambling" right now. I don't have time to read a shitty book. It has to be good.
The first book I bought is called Dry Ice By Stephen White. I love Stephen White books. He writes a series about a Shrink living in Boulder, Colorado. It's good writing and has good characters. I highly recommend this author, and there are a lot of books by him to choose from. I've read them all.
I also got The Road by Cormac McCarthy. This is one of those books that I just had to read. It needs to be in my library. I've heard many different things about the book from people who have already read it, and I cant wait to have my own opinion.
And last but not least, I bought The Friday Night Knitting Club by Kate Jacobs. This one looks fun. Fun like.... Eat Pray Love fun. Like girl talk fun. Like eating a piece of chocolate cake fun. Like taking a bath with a glass of wine fun. Like sleeping in fun.....I could go on forever here but you get the point.
Maybe I'll start my own book review. Or maybe I'll start a bloggy blog book club. Say that three times fast.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
(See I just had to get up and go crack the whip...but I'm back)
I've decided to write in chapters, so if you ever miss one of the posts you can easily find it. I am so completely full of myself, aren't I?
Deep breath...here we go......
Thursday morning my surgery was scheduled for 8am. They asked me to be there and hour early for prep. Which meant that I had to get up at 5am (eww), not eat or drink anything- which meant NO coffee (double eww), and then sit naked on a prep table while a bunch of strangers poked and prodded me. Sounds like a good time, right? The nurse that helped me dress (and undress) even said this to me- and I quote:
"Okay, you need to go wee-wee in this cup so we know you're not pregnant, okay?"
Wee-wee? What am I, five? Where did you come from? The pediatric's wing? So I did what I was told and went wee-wee in the cup for her. I even got a sucker when I was finished.....kidding kidding.
Back to laying naked on the prep table. I did have a few "warm" blankets on me. And they did give good footed socks. Something you don't know about me- I can NOT relax when my feet are cold. I cant sleep with cold feet, either. If my feet are cold, I will lay awake the entire night. Seriously. But once my feet warm up, I'll fall asleep right away. Not sure where that came from but, it's the way I work.
(I just wanted to let you know I've had to get up from the computer 2 more times to deal with the kids since I started writing this. It's amazing I can keep one train of thought...)
So I'm laying on the prep table, IV in place, socks on, waiting for someone to roll me into the OR. Then a very tall, super-good looking, plain clothed man strolls into my cube.
Him- "How you doin?"
Him- "My name is (don't remember his name) and I'm your anesthesiologist."
Me- "Okay. So you're the man with the drugs?" (Slapping myself for saying something so stupid. I'm sure he's NEVER heard that one before. Nice job, Tasha.)
Him- "Huhuhhuh" (that's a half-assed laugh BTW)
My realization: This guy is going to see me naked in a few minutes! Eeek! I don't know about you, but it's worse to have a good looking person see you naked than it is to have a not so good looking person see you naked. Like my surgeon, he isn't the prettiest man, so I could care less how he sees me. But when Dr. McSteamy walks in, it makes things a little uncomfortable!
I immediately get rolled into the operating room after meeting McSteamy, and don't remember much after that except that I had to scoot from one bed to another.
The next thing I knew, I was in a chair, DRESSED, and eating crackers and drinking apple juice out of a little can. What?? What the hell just happened? The nurse told me I had even tried to help her put my pants on. I did? Since I was naked before, I can only imagine the crotch shots she probably got while trying to dress me. Sweet.
I felt pretty good and drugged. Tired. I remember smelling the ace bandage that was wrapped inhumanly tight around my breasts. I remember smelling the iodine that they used, and I had little crusty spots of it on my arms. I hate the smell of iodine/betadine. I took a pain pill (thanks Heather!), and my girlfriend arrived to drive me home. I don't remember what we talked about....only that I started feeling sick in the car on the way home. Little did I know that that was only the beginning of the nausea....
I was just glad to have the surgery part over with. I hopped into bed when I got home and slept the rest of the day. I don't think I've spent so much time in bed since I gave birth two years ago. I took another pain pill a few hours after I got home, and promptly puked. Then two hours later I puked again. It wasn't just a little either. It was heaving, loud, can-hardly-catch-my-breath-in-between puking. I remember thinking "I bet this is GREAT for my stitches...".
Turns out I was having a reaction the the pain meds. Dammit...I was really looking forward to taking those, too! I hear they're fun. Anyway, I made an executive decision and stopped taking them. I went the whole first night without pain meds. Oww! But I felt sooooo much better not puking my guts out all night. Pain is easier than nausea. Is that weird of me? Probably.
By the next morning, I was hurting but relieved my stomach had recovered. I was able to eat and drink and I actually got out of bed and came downstairs briefly. Very briefly.
Click here to read The Implant Diaries, Chapter 2.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Me- "Happy Easter, honey."
Husband- "Happy Easter to you, Hon."
Jack- "AAAAAHHHHHHHH!" MOMMMMMM, Ava is hitting me!"
Ava- "AAHHHHHHH!" (door slams upstairs)
Husband- "Can we get the hell out of the house today?"
Me- "It's 7:30"
Me- "Okay then."
So, in keeping with our family Easter tradition, we're going to the Bellagio Flower Gardens this morning. Which means my blogging will have to wait a few more hours. Getting back to the gardens, if you've never been, GO. It's one of the very few places in Vegas that I think everyone visiting MUST see. It's incredible, and beautiful, and the room smells divine. It takes $1 million to upkeep every year, so you know it has to be good! It also gives you a spot to take some really good pictures.
So, until later this afternoon.....happy Easter to you!
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Apparently, my husband and I throw a pretty good party. Everything went off without a hitch! I think everyone had a good time- I know I did! People didn't leave until almost midnight. That is hella late for me (I prefer to be in bed by 9 most nights), but I was having such a good time I hardly noticed.
Friday, March 14, 2008
This is a beer household. If you don't like beer, dont come to one of my parties. What did I get? Guinness. Duh. Killian's, because they didn't have Bass or Harp at the store. Amateurs! Coors Light for the green beer. You will never -ever- see me paying money for Budweiser. I'm a Colorado girl, and I drink Colorado beer. I even went to school with Christy Coors. It's kind of a loyalty thing....you understand.
I got green food coloring. That should be fun. If I put enough in the beer, it will turn every one's lips and teeth green. Then I can just sit back and secretly giggle at my guests- after they have a few beers they wont even care if their mouths are green. My years of bartending taught me this. It was definitely one of the perks of the job. It'll make for some good pictures. I also got some Irish cream, just in case anyone wants an Irish coffee or an Irish Car Bomb (minus the whiskey).
For dessert, I'm making the Pioneer Woman's apple dumplings. And Dori- I will let you know how they turn out! Practice makes perfect, darling....keep trying them! YUM! I might just skip dinner and eat these all night....
The main entertainment of the night (other than the food) is going to be our Wii. It's a lot of fun, and even better when you're drinking. I'm not any good at any of the games, but it's fun none the less.
Oh oh! I almost forgot. I got a steal of a deal on the corned beef. I *just happened* to pick two roasts (I got 4 total) that didn't have sticker bar codes (meaning no price hee hee). These were BIG roasts- probably $15 ones. When I was checking out, the checker woman was complaining about her job. Since I can relate to having a crappy job, I started teasing her. She perked up just as she came to my roasts. Here's how it went:
Her: "Where is the barcode on this!?"
Me: "Oh crap, I must have picked one that didn't have one...I'm sorry (and I was)!"
Her: "No problem!"
She takes one of the roasts that has a barcode, which happens to be the LEAST expensive one of the bunch, and beeps it 3 times for the ones that don't have stickers. Whoo hoo, thank you! She probably saved me at least $20 from doing that. I cant decide if this was just luck or karma...or maybe I should have made her charge me the correct amount somehow? It was a big added bonus to my shopping trip!
And soooooo, I'm ready to rock. Let the good times roll.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Have you seen the Penelope character yet? I think everyone knows someone like this....do you? Just push play!
I've had 100 babies sooo..........and I only weight 85 pounds now sooo............all my children live with me sooo...........and my husband makes 250 million a year sooo...........and I own a diamond vault sooo..............
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Okay, something that really bugs me: women's jeans. Why cant I find a pair that either isn't too big or too small?
Let me explain. If you're a woman- that really means WOMAN- with curves...with all the wonderful "extras" you get after having babies and/or getting older. That means the wider hips, the squishy stuff around your midsection, the cottage cheese thighs that have for some reason doubled in size over the last few years. How does that happen, anyway? I'm calling these things "curves" because that's the nice way to say it, wouldn't you agree? And literally, the extras are curves on our bodies, so let's just leave it at that.
I am trying to embrace the majority of my curves. I'm not a 22-year-old bartender anymore. I've had two babies in 2.4 years. I drink a lot of beer (and I'm not willing to stop that part, either). I turned 30. These are really great things that I have been blessed with. So I'll take the fat...errr I mean curves....with it.
Since I have curves now, jeans don't fit the same. They either fit great at one part, or at another, but never BOTH. So I'm either begging to breathe and sporting a really awesome "muffin top", or I'm comfortable and constantly pulling my pants up (because they're too big in the waist) and showing my ass crack. Neither of these things is particularly appealing to me. So which is worse...ass cracks or muffin tops? Oh, and if you get the really low-rise jeans, you can have BOTH at the same time! What a deal!
I don't want to have to wear a belt all the time, but I hate having to pull my pants up, and up again, and again.....why cant a pair of jeans just FIT? I could just put them on and walk away. No belt, no fat rolls, no ass crack. And don't think I'm about to go wear a pair of "mom jeans", either. I may be 30 and a mom, but I'm only 30.
I don't want anything too trendy- no skinny jeans, thank you. I like a little flair in the legs- it makes my butt look smaller. Nothing that is going to break my bank account (sorry but I am not going to spend $200 on a pair of pants). Nothing too "low-rise", no "Mom Jeans", and they must be CUTE. Is this too much to ask? Apparently it is!
I hate jeans right now!
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Friday, March 7, 2008
There were ten of us- 5 couples. I think we were all so happy to be out with other grown-ups. We gals have been trying to do something like this with our husbands for years! So this date was a long time coming. Everyone got along famously, and I haven't laughed that hard since I don't know when. We stuffed our faces, drank whatever we pleased (I even had a mixed drink that was called a "pink slut"...or something like that), and brought out all the swear words just for good measure.
Aren't our men cute? This is minus one guy- they ran late. Rum Jungle has the most amazing, beautiful bar! Apparently they have every kind of rum in existence, too. Have you ever heard of a rum that costs $150 a shot? I have, and Rum Jungle has it. Yikes.
And OMG you guys...I saw one of the infamous CAGE GO-GO DANCERS! Whoo hoo! She even "posed" for a picture for me! They have these lucky girls hanging high above the dining room, just doing their own thing. Where do I get that job!?
Next up was the Foundation Room. Now this place is just too cool. You get to go in an elevator that is roped off from the general public. Then it takes you up 50 floors to the top of Mandalay Bay. You walk into a dark room, and there is Asian themed decor, lots of different colored lights all around, and the smell of incense throughout. Stephanie said "it smells like ass in here". LOL. The views are incredible. The service was incredible. The drinks were strong. I felt like a rock star....and we partied like rockstars, too. Lots of drinking, giggling, boob comparing (since I'm breast obsessed until my surgery), and picture taking. I know the husbands were there, too, but I think they just enjoyed sitting back and watching their wives let loose.
A little silliness goes a long way....and you can see my $20 martini on the shelf there. I told you I was having one of those!
This was our postcard-worthy view. Incredible, isn't it? It was almost hard to take in, it was so surreal!
I love these girls! Thank goodness for girlfriends!
And, at the end of the night, we were all pretty sauced and snuggly. We spent way too much money, I ate too much, drank too much, and my stomach was sore after laughing to tears all night. It was a night I wont soon forget- my friends definitely know how to have a good time!