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Monday, October 6, 2008

This is my life. BEEP!


You know those check-out people who have ZERO sense of urgency? How is it that I always pick their lane? While I'm standing there, three people behind the lead person watching them, this is how it goes.......


..........BEEP!...........


.............five minutes later............................BEEP!...............


................stops to fix the plastic bag holder thingie that doesn't really need fixing......okay fixed
..................BEEP!...............


................................BEEP!............my feet are starting to hurt...........


................BEEP..................................


...................Did I remember to close the garage?
............................BEEP!..............


.........................only 40 more things to beep before we're on to the next customer...................


.............BEEP!....................I wonder who killed J.R?......................................BEEP!......


......................for the love of GOD please go faster.......................
..........breathe..............


............................BEEP!............................BEEP!.....................................


Oh yea, now we're movin!....................and just when I think I might get out of there before I start menopause.....


.........................................Uh oh, some thing's wrong.


They cant scan an item. Dun dun dun!


This is where they look up like a deer in headlights. What now? There must be a manager around here..... somewhere? What? The manager is at lunch? Oh crap, what does that mean?


Please remember that, while this is going on, my two kids are fighting, whining, screaming, burping, barfing, farting, picking their nose, pulling crap off the shelves (dear god why do the stores put crap right inside the check-out aisle?)...and anything else you can think of that's offensive when you're packed into a little space with 10 other people. If I'm lucky, someone will be giving me really dirty looks because how dare I ....whatever I'm doing. Half the time I don't even know what I'm doing.


Anyway...


This is my life.


9 comments:

Merrie said...

We were separated at birth. It never fails -- I ALWAYS pick the line that ends up either running out of paper for the receipt machine, or has someone using food stamps that all have to counted out and turned into separate purchases. This kills me every time. (Or at least it feels like every time.)

Nicole said...

OMG have I been there one too many times!!! Shay has to examine and or ask to buy almost everything that is displayed at the checkout. By the time we get to the car they are grounded to their rooms for the rest of the night or else!!!!! and sweet little riley doesn't know what the hell is going on.

Cathie said...

This is why I love going grocery shopping at midnight!!!! No kids and they can take their sweet time scanning my purchases.

The Mom said...

UGH, there's a lady at a local store who we avoid like the plague, she talks and talks and talks and STOPS beeping the groceries...KEEP GOING!! I dread if there are two lines and hers is the shortest!! I pretend to shop more so I don't have to go to her!

Liam said...

And the people who try to use their credit cards and have no idea how they work... "This is a debit card... if you want to use it as a debit card you need a PIN... do you have a PIN?" no... ARGH... isn't this the express lane???

Ooo... And I have another check out lady who was FRAKING TEXTING WHILE CHECKING ME OUT!...

Katie said...

I always seem to pick the slowest line when it's close to nap time! Jake can be very impatient when he's sleepy. He likes to hand all the items to the checker to "help out" too. It's cute but annoying all in one! :)

NucMEd is Hot said...

I am somewhat lucky in this arena as I try to make sure I have less than 20 items and I can utilize the self check out.

Only twice a month do I subject myself to the regular lines.

A Single Mom's Life said...

ROFL! Girl you are a freaking trip! I can sooooo relate.

TTownDiva said...

One of my favorites you've ever written. I'm glad i'm not the only one who thinks like this all the time.

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