Friday, August 22, 2008

Did she really just say that?

Do you know one of those kind of people? One of those kind of people that blurts out really inappropriate things but acts like it's a totally normal thing to do?

My husband and I know a couple people like that. Our favorite "blurter" just happens to be our next door neighbor. Let me first say that she and her husband are very kind to us. They've watched our kids for us, they helped build our kid's swing set, they've watched our house when we were out of town. They've done LOTS of nice things for us. However, when you're with the wife...let's call her "Sherry" never know what kind of crap is going to come out of her mouth. My husband and I often leave her giving each other silent looks of "did she just say...?" and then "uh, yea, she said it." There's usually lots of uncomfortable giggling along with it.

For instance, a few years ago my husband and I were in the process of rearranging our house for Ava's birth. We didn't have anywhere to put some of our furniture so, naturally, we stored it in the garage. One day while we were in our garage with the door open, "Sherry" walks over and says:

"When are you guys going to get rid of all that crap in your garage?"

We gave her a polite, sort of stunned answer. I don't think she even knew how her sentence came out, but it left me wondering what the comment was all about. We aren't messy people. In fact I think we're extremely organized. At least my husband is, so I get it by association. Our stored furniture is neatly stacked and stored. On top of that, we have kids. Sherry doesn't. Kids require you to have stuff.

Another time, right after I had my breast augmentation surgery (literally like 4 days after), she came over for something and immediately started to stare at them. No glances...just a straight out stare. That's fine. I ain't shy. So I said something like "what do you think?" and she replied with:

"I'm just glad they aren't mine!"

Um okay. Thanks? I think they look great, too.

So this kind of thing happens more and more- the more comfortable she gets with us, the more crap comes out of her mouth. My hubby and I have turned it into a game.....what kind of inappropriate shit will she say today? It's been fun.

Here's the most recent-

Husband was leaving for work. He kisses me goodbye and walks to his car. I lose site of him around the house. He starts walking back to the front door after a few minutes.

Me- "What's wrong?"

Him- (with a smirk on his face) "I just talked to Sherry out there."

Me- "Ohhhhhhh, what did she say!!!??" I can hardly stand the suspense.

Him- "Well, I was taking the trash can out to the curb, and she was in her car. She rolled down her window and said 'woo woo, if my trash man looked liked that I would....' and I didn't hear the rest."

Me- "Like she was woo wooing you?"

Him- "Yea. And then I said that we should have them over for a BBQ before summer is over." (this is common for us to get together like this)

Me- "Yea, good idea."

Him- "And then she said...and yes she really said this...'let's have a nudy party!'"

Me- "She said WHAT?"

Him- "She said 'let's have a NUDY party.'"

Me- "A nudy party? Like a NAKED party?"

Him- "Yea, I think so." (now he's looking really uncomfortable, bless his heart)

Me- "Ewwwwwwwww!"

Him- "I know."

Me- "She has a crush on you!" (this is a new thing)

Him- "No she doesn't. Maybe she wants to see you naked."

Me- "Um no, she already told me she hates my tits."

Him- Silence

Me- "Sherry and Matt, sittin in a tree...."

Him- "Shut up."

So apparently, my neighbor wants to have a naked party for our next BBQ. I think I'll pass.


Kathy said...

LMAO! Omg Tasha, I'd watch her like a hawk. I love how you can laugh about it, I think I'd be lookin to move!

The Mom Jen said...

Yeah, i'd watch her too...that's a little too cozy for my taste.

Unknown said...

ahaha! I love hearing about your cooky neighbor. Good luck with the nudy bbq. Matt may want to wear an apron while grilling...

A Big Ball of Stress said...

LOLOLOL. I love how you give Matt a ribbing on that! LOL. I can totally see you saying that! What a weirdo.

Anonymous said...

Interesting neighbor you have there! I'd have to tell her to back off... and it probably wouldn't be in a nice way. ;o)

Merrie said...

HA! I had a former co-worker (from hell) who spent a week at "Hedonism" in the tropics -- everyone is naked all the time. Well, a few months later they wanted to get together with some people they met there, so they had a "naked reunion" at someone's apartment. Classy.

Toni said...

What is with people? Nice neighbors you got there ;)

Tasha said...

Merrie- Ewwwww! LOL!

queen foodie said...

It would be kind of funny to schedule it and see if they actually showed up and then say "oh we were just kidding". I bet that would silence her for a second or two...maybe. It sounds like your hubby has a good sense of humor. Mine would've done the same thing too...come looking for me just to spill the beans.

Big Red said...

Sounds like someones been watching to much Swingtown. :)

Us said...

hahaahah! Hilarious! Sound's like a wonderful neighbor lady!

3HappyHippies said...

Wow that is a bit much for me. I agree with those that said watch her, cause she just sounds CWAZY! Do I really want to move to Vegas? At least she can make you laugh, smile or whatever. Hilarious!

Mrs4444 said...

OMG! This happened to us, too, when we lived in upstate NY. I told the wife, "Hubby said he thought you said you wanted to 'SWING' with us!" (and I'm totally laughing in a isn't-that- crazy-that-he-misunderstood-your comment kind of way. However, she replied, "Well, I don't know...I'd have to THINK about it." OMG OMG OMG After that, we mostly avoided that couple. On a side note; two years later, she disappeared and has never been found. Seriously. Creep, creep, creepy!

TTownDiva said...

Oh my God! I totally have a friend like this. Only she finally pissed me off enough that we didn't hang out for like over a year, but I am finally starting to miss her (we were really close), so we are going to attempt to hang out again. That is until she says something like, "I wish I could just learn to love the nerdy guy." She was talking about Kevin. I was extremely offfended.

TTownDiva said...

P.S. She better keep her eyes off my brother or else!

dirtyduck said...

"I'm just glad they aren't mine!".
really? really? first of all, yea right. i mean people like, SAY things like that, because they are poor or dont care enough about themselves to do anything to take care of themselves. thats so lame.

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