Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Muffin tops and ass cracks

Okay, something that really bugs me: women's jeans. Why cant I find a pair that either isn't too big or too small?

Let me explain. If you're a woman- that really means WOMAN- with curves...with all the wonderful "extras" you get after having babies and/or getting older. That means the wider hips, the squishy stuff around your midsection, the cottage cheese thighs that have for some reason doubled in size over the last few years. How does that happen, anyway? I'm calling these things "curves" because that's the nice way to say it, wouldn't you agree? And literally, the extras are curves on our bodies, so let's just leave it at that.

I am trying to embrace the majority of my curves. I'm not a 22-year-old bartender anymore. I've had two babies in 2.4 years. I drink a lot of beer (and I'm not willing to stop that part, either). I turned 30. These are really great things that I have been blessed with. So I'll take the fat...errr I mean curves....with it.

Since I have curves now, jeans don't fit the same. They either fit great at one part, or at another, but never BOTH. So I'm either begging to breathe and sporting a really awesome "muffin top", or I'm comfortable and constantly pulling my pants up (because they're too big in the waist) and showing my ass crack. Neither of these things is particularly appealing to me. So which is worse...ass cracks or muffin tops? Oh, and if you get the really low-rise jeans, you can have BOTH at the same time! What a deal!

I don't want to have to wear a belt all the time, but I hate having to pull my pants up, and up again, and again.....why cant a pair of jeans just FIT? I could just put them on and walk away. No belt, no fat rolls, no ass crack. And don't think I'm about to go wear a pair of "mom jeans", either. I may be 30 and a mom, but I'm only 30.

I don't want anything too trendy- no skinny jeans, thank you. I like a little flair in the legs- it makes my butt look smaller. Nothing that is going to break my bank account (sorry but I am not going to spend $200 on a pair of pants). Nothing too "low-rise", no "Mom Jeans", and they must be CUTE. Is this too much to ask? Apparently it is!

I hate jeans right now!


A Big Ball of Stress said...

Hey Tasha, Have you checked out I havent yet but I read on someones blog I think(maybe it was the board)that they loved them. Just thought Id let ya know :)

Gina said...

WHERE did you get that picture of me for your blog? ;) Bwahahahahaha. At least it wasn't the plumber's crack photo that's floating around out there.

I'm a Talbot's jeans girl - they're the only ones I feel comfortable in - which reminds me I need to have DH get my non-maternity crap out of storage. I have a pair of "Seven for All Mankind" that my sister gave me but...ewwww, I don't have the body for them and my crack shows. So uncool for an over-40 mom

Anonymous said...

I am LMFAO! Muffin tops! And seriously, Matt was taking pictures of me and the kids today and I had my ass crack on display in one of them! You are so not alone, thank God it's not just me! My current jeans of choice are Old Navy, but only because they cost me $20/pair. And that is why I thought I was having the muffin top & ass crack issue. Let me know if you find something that works for you :)

Anonymous said...

Hi there! You're free to use the image illustrating the muffin top. But please upload it to Blogger or your own server. Thanks!

nope said...

LMFAO.... Yes, it is too much to ask apparently. I have the HUGE gap in the back of my jeans - because currently my hips take up way too much room. There is NO happy place. I tell ya.

Anonymous said...

Totally agree Tasha!!!! I have the saaaaame problem. I am short with a nice sized booty and ummmmm, ample thighs, lol
I have yet to find a cool pair of jeans that I can wear without a belt. If you find some let me know!!!

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