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Sunday, February 24, 2008

The Gym Diaries

Have you ever been to the gym? Do you notice the other kinds of people that are there with you?

People watching at the gym is pure entertainment for me. It's even better than zoning out to my ipod sometimes. It seems like every day I come home with a new gym story to tell my husband. Here are some of the colorful people that go to my gym:

The Meat Heads. You know, the mid-twenties to late-forties guys. They have (or think they have) big muscles. They lift weights that are too heavy for them. They make disgusting, silly noises when they lift like "Doy! Doy! Doy!". They sneak glances at me and my friends but pretend to be completely consumed by looking at their muscles. They sweat. A lot. Eww.

These guys are some of my favorites to watch. My girlfriends and I, while lifting our ten pound weights, giggle to each other listening to theirs "ARGHS!" two mirrors down. They talk about things like where they used to lift, or where their buddies lift, or where they fix cars or ride motorcycles.

The Housewives. These are the women that go to get a break from their kids. Some of them are overweight, trying desperately to lose that baby weight. Some are toned and perfect because they go to gym it 6 days a week (and are vegetarian and run 5Ks every weekend). Some are there with their friends, strictly for the social hour. I am all of the above.....except the vegetarian and 5K part.

The Strippers. This is Vegas, after all. No offense to strippers. I'm actually kind of jealous they get to dance around on a pole all night. These kind of women are bleached blond, very skinny, and have HUGE breasts. Not big like "wow she's got big boobs". Big like "OMG those are the biggest boobs I have EVER seen!". Seriously. There is one woman at my gym in particular, who I lovingly refer to as "Tits", who has the biggest breasts I have ever seen in my life. They are obviously fake. I just wonder why on earth she would choose to have boobs that size. But, she has all eyes on her when she walks in....maybe that is the idea?

The Seniors. I have nothing but respect for this group. They're grey, they're wrinkled, some come in walking with canes, but they still manage to get 20 minutes on the treadmill. Amazing people. I hope I will have the nerve to be as health conscience as them when I'm that age.

The Skinnies. This group doesn't need to be in the gym at all. Where is the muscle that they are working? These people are super skinny, borderline eating disorders (and maybe more), and need to be out having a meal instead of busting their (skinny) asses on the stair-stepper.

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