Music I'm Emarrassed To Love...

You know when you hear a song and instantly love it, but then you start listening to the lyrics and think "shit, this song is soooo stupid!"

Ha, well I have a new song I'm embarrassed to love! It's called Tick Tock by some chick named Kesha. I like her name because it's a black girl's name....and she's white. Kinda like me and my name. Word to your mother.

Anyway, people have said she looks like a "coked-out cross between Taylor Swift and Ashley Tisdale", which I think is freakin hilarious. And they're right. We who dont have lives have to get our rocks off somehow...dont playa hate, yo.

This song kind of reminds me of Lady Gaga's "Just Dance". It's about getting drunk and acting stupid. (insert eye roll here) Although the lyrics on both songs are totally stupid and immature (unless you're 21), there's no denying the beat - and meloves any song that I can dance to.

Maybe I like this song because it reminds me of the days when I didn't have any kids.

My kids have been out of school (and with me) 24/7 for over a month. I don't have any friends here to go out with, and I stay home by myself, with both kids, all day every day. It's like the days when I had an infant....minus the breastfeeding.

Anyway. I'm gonna go brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack now...

Listen to the song. Then you'll get it.

Peace Out.

Merry Christmas - Checking In

So I've been insanely busy for the past two weeks. Moving your family across the country ain't for babies. You gotta be tough, patient and in my case, have plenty of wine available. But I swear my New Year's resolution is to stop drinking.

Riiiiiiight.

Anyway, I wanted to wish everyone a happy holiday and hope you have big plans for yourself in the New Year. I will get back to a regular blogging sched once things quiet down but, in the meantime, here's a few pictures to tide you over.

The Wolf Pack and I got together for one last hoopla before I left for Philly. We stuffed ourselves at the Rio's World Buffet (which is pretty decent), went bowling and drank cheap beer and then ended the night at the strip club! I mean, what else would you expect from Vegas locals? Don't we look like perfect angels?


Moving day! The movers walked through and said something like "wow, you guys have really filled your space..." Which translates to: "Dude, you guys have a lot of shit." Yea, thanks asshole. Pack my shit and let's get on with it.

A picture I took on one of our first days in Philadelphia. It's a gorgeous city and I cant wait to get my butt into all the museums. Lots more pictures of the city to come.

The family and I couldn't wait to try our first (ever) Philly cheesesteak sandwiches, so we braved the cold and hit Pat's and Geno's - they're the best in town we're told - and they happen to be right across the street from each other. Talk about rivalry, eh? I of course, being a foodie, had to try both and ordered (and ate) a sandwich from each place. Stay tuned for a FULL review of each place, with sandwich details. Yum!
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Two weeks into our new city, the east coast had a huge storm blow through and we received record snow fall. 15 inches to be exact....at least at my house.

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Great.

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Is it springtime yet? I'm freezin my balls off over here.

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Stay tuned. I have LOTS to write about, and tons of pictures to share. My life has been a wild, wild ride and it just keeps gettin better.

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Right now I'm going to go hang with the family and enjoy my four-day holiday weekend. Smooches to all of you from The Housewife.

Rammstein VS Cookie Monster

Philly Update

A little update and a (not so) funny story for your reading pleasure. Make sure to leave your opinions in the comments - I'd like to hear them!

My husband's and my cars were dropped off to us a few days ago. Remember when I told you they called us and said the hubby's Lexus was "damaged" in transit? Well, we found out that it was *much* more than that....

When the cars were dropped off, they seemed fine. Clean. The driver was very professional. Ok, cool. But after the husband got into his car and drove it into our garage, he noticed that the gas tank gauge read

"Tank Empty. You can go 0 miles"

Um, what? We left the car with almost a half a tank of gas....and now it has none?

Keep in mind that the car was put onto a trailer and towed the entire way from Vegas to Philly. No driving was supposed to have taken place.

But the gas tank was empty? Can you see where this story is going?

We pulled out our paperwork from the drop off, compared mileage, and discovered that the Lexus had 90 additional miles put on it. Yes, ninety. What.....the......fuck. Someone took our car out for a 90-mile joyride? Who knows where, who knows when, who know whom, who knows what they did.....sex, drugs and doughnuts comes to mind. Maybe they drove it to New York City. The point is, we gave no authorization for them to drive the car.

Welcome to Philly!

My husband called this company....which I wont mention by name *cough REINDEER AUTO cough* and the first person to take his call, stupid woman, offered us a "sorry" and to give us $10 in gas compensation.

Excuse me, what? $10? Are you serious? She had her supervisor call us, who also got huffy and scattered and offered us $20. Whoo hoo....now we're talkin!

NOT.

Sorry to sound rude but, bitches, you better have something better than that.

So not only is the driver's side mirror damaged (which we're assuming happened in the night of joyriding fun) but there are 90 additional miles put on our car. Awesome.

Another supervisor called me today to "follow up" and she didn't even know about the additional miles. Like, no one told you? Again, awesome. What the hell is with this company? So I busted out my "I'm smart and well spoken and will totally kick your ass" voice for her. I know every chick has *that* voice! It seemed to have worked because she said she would call me back with an update. We'll see....

Anyway, that's the latest. We move into our house on Wednesday. Cant wait! I'll keep you updated on the car dramz. Pictures coming soon!

Philly = Mars

We made it the 2700 miles across the country to Philadelphia. This week has been a big ass blur. My family and I have never had more "quality time" together....it's almost too much, if you know what I mean. We're holed up in a hotel room - granted it's a suite, but still. We've been spending lots of time in the (rental) car together. A sedan. With both kids in the back...right next to each other....we're they can actually reach each other. Dear God, please allow me to concentrate so I don't crash the car in the middle of this Philadelphia freeway.

If you have small children, you know that when the kids can reach over and smack the other with ease, it's bad news. Because that's ALL they do. I prefer my SUV, where the kids are far enough away that they have to at least throw their toys across the car to reach each other.

Anyway, so lots of time in the car - mostly driving around (desperately) searching for a house to call our own.

We found one today and, if we're lucky, we can move in this weekend. It was my husband's favorite house. It's beautiful. It's in an incredible neighborhood. It's 5,000 square feet.

Oh god.

Dude, I am so NOT cleaning this house. It would take me three days.

Hellllllllooooooooo housekeeper.

No, really. The house is beautiful - I will post some pictures once we get into it (and I find my camera's computer cord....it's packed somewhere).

Speaking of our stuff...it's still in transit.....somewhere in the middle of the United States. We're not sure where. They're supposed to call us when they're an hour away. Nice, right? And we got a call yesterday from the car people that they "damaged" my husband's 2008 Lexus.

Awesome. Could be worse, I suppose. It's scheduled to get here sometime next week. I think.

I'll admit it, I'm a very lucky woman. My husband treats me very well and has been patient with my tears and anger swings - I've been trying to hold it together as best as I can, but sometimes it's all just a little too much to take in. I think that I'll wake up in my bed a month from now and wonder....

Where the HELL am I and how did I get here?

Note to self: find the nearest store where I can buy a case of red wine.

By the way, I'm thinking of new names (gimmicks) for my blog. Boobs and Bonnets was suggested by a Twitter friend....what do you think?

Moving Can Suck It

Two more sleeps in Las Vegas before my family and I leave for Philadelphia.....for good! I've been pretty stressed, pretty anxious and have hardly slept. There are boxes scattered all over my house - we're about half packed right now. The kids are asking lots of questions and I am desperately trying to keep track of where our stuff is (and my sanity, for that matter). I've already lost my cell phone charger.

Great.

The packers are on their way over for round two of talking my ear off while going through every aspect of my personal and private life. (Picture a strange man packing your underwear drawer....um, yeah)

Hide all the porn, honey!

The TVs are being packed today, which means no TV watching today or tonight. Ok, no sweat. I'll get the books out. Oh wait....books are packed already. Shit. Ok, then we can just......talk? But wait, my kids talk my freakin ear off all day already.

This is going to be awesome.

I guess I shouldn't complain. I have people packing all of my crap for me. They're packing, loading it, unloading it once we get there, and then even unpacking it for me. I don't think moving gets any easier than that.

Now all I need is a nanny.

And a maid.

And a bar.

And a book.

And some crazy pills.

Holy Crap & Congratulations!

Holy crap you guys. You totally blow me away with your support. I thought it was going to take forever to get my 100th follower. But I went to sleep last night with 94 followers and wake up with 104!

You chicks are fast....and you obviously do your dirty work at night. So thanks to all of you vampires, prostitutes and gamblers! Heehee!

I wanted to give an extra thanks to The Mom Jen at Cheaper Than Therapy. Jen, you know what you did, and I am ever so grateful. Smooches!

And now to my 100th follower......that's PATTY! Congratulations Patty! Send me an email at Tasha@Thehousewifediaries.com to claim your secret prize: a roll of toilet paper and a lump of coal! Yuk yuk yuk....just kidding.

To everyone else, thanks for the support and keep a look out for more goodies I'll be giving away - I seem to have an endless supply of stuff coming in to give back to you wonderful peeps!

100 followers?

I'm only six suckers, errr, I mean people, away from having 100 followers.

I still have some goodies to give out to my readers....Cough!BooksCough!......

So how about this: To celebrate, I'm giving away a surprise gift to my 100th follower.

Who's it gonna be? And remember - what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas!

T-Minus Six Sleeps....

Six sleeps until I am no longer the "Vegas Housewife".



*sniff* Kind of sad. But I'm getting excited about my family's new adventure.



How was your Thanksgiving holiday? Mine was.....eh. But I'll save that for another blog.



I guess it doesn't help that I'm five days away from moving my family 2700 miles across the country to Amish land....I joke to myself that I need to find a bonnet and learn how to make cheese. Oh, and maybe I should become a conservative Republican? Haha...never!



I admit I've been pretty stressed. I vented last week via email to my boss about the five-hour-long plane trip (with my kids and 20-pound cat in tow) - she is very professional and well spoken - and she answered my email with "the plane has a bar....". Wow, awesome. At least I'm getting some validation that my stress isn't all shit. That email made my day.



This week my days will be filled with packing, taking care of the kiddos (who are both out of school now...yikes!) and trying to get some work done. I've been mentally searching for my sanity but I think it's gone to Mexico for a vacation. Maybe it will come back once we've moved. Until then, enjoy the holiday and I'll see you on the flip side. Thanks to everyone for your support and patience!



P.S. I wrote about porn and I got two new followers. Awesome!

Let's talk porn for a moment...

Ahh, that got your attention, didn't it?

Did anyone see Jenna Jameson on Oprah the other day? Jenna Jameson - you know, the biggest porn star in the entire world? She even has a mommy blog now....which I think is totally hilarious and bizarre, but whatevs.

So anyway, I was watching Jenna on Oprah....and can I just say.....what the hell happened to her face?

I'm definitely not a lesbian, but I can appreciate a sexy woman. Just ask my husband. Jenna ain't the world's biggest porn star for nothin. She can rock a porn scene like no other woman can. I also have much respect for her because she (and her vagina) built an entire empire all by themselves. How many other vaginas can you say that have done that?

Jenna used to be curvy and pretty. Now she looks like a spray-tan, too-much-plastic-surgery nightmare from the planet silicone. Seriously, Jenna babe, lay of the lip implants, the eye lift and the weight loss!

The sad part is, she's only 35. So it's likely that her face will only get worse. Girl needs some serious grounding from the plastic surgeon's office. Take a breather, switch to anti-wrinkle cream instead and for the love of god....eat something.

Just to give you all an idea of what I'm talking about....

Before.....

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After....

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To see her actual interview on Oprah, click here.

Speidi vs. The Insider Panel

It's the little things that entertain me these days. I HATE Spencer and Heidi with a passion - Spencer reminds me of my ex, and that alone is enough to make me want to vomit, but throw dingbat Heidi into it and it's a perfect union of jackass and stupid.

Watch the trainwreck as they're interviewed by a bunch of know-it-all panel (including Star Jones who, in my opinion, has NO place to advise Speidi on marriage since she herself was married for a whole....60 days or so!?). I hate Speidi, but the Insider panel was even more annoying....and that's hard to do!

It gets REALLY good at about the three minute mark.

Enjoy the freak show!

Words.....Words.....Words......

I blame my crappy vocabulary on 1- my pregnancies and losing brain cells, 2- lack of sleep for the last 6 years, 3- talking to little people all day that use words like "poop" and "booger", and too many martinis in the last few years.

Yea, so...it's my fault. I did all of those things to myself. I got pregnant- willingly. I had babies- again, willingly. I taught those babies those "poop" and "booger" words. And as a former bartender, I mix my own drinks...strong. So I can blame no one but myself.

Still.

I think I used to have a really, totally awesome vocabulary.

My mom is a technical writer and is extremely cerebral. I grew up hearing very proper English and pronunciation. I was always corrected if I spoke incorrectly, and I'm grateful for that.

So when I left the house at barely 18, I felt pretty confident when speaking to others, particularly other (more word-experienced) adults.

Then I got pregnant and something happened. It was like I lost all memory of words longer than four letters. I'd be having a conversation and forget the word "mountain." It'd be like "Oh honey...look at the.....well, you know.....the.....the big rock thingie over there.....what's it called?"

Hubby- "Mountain?"

"Oh yea!" I'd yell. "Mountain!"

It only got worse as time went by. We moved to Las Vegas and the summer heat would turn my tongue-o into jell-o. Something about being unbelievably hot does things to my brain - it starts to shut down because it hates that I put it in 110+ degree weather.

More time went by, my kids started talking and, instead of talking politics with my bar regulars as I had done before kids, I was saying "boo boo bah bah!" during afternoons of mashed peas and sippie cups.

Not a bad thing, but it kind of sucked. The husband would come home from work and ask how my day was, and I'd answer "Little Jackie went poo poo and Ava oobie woobie doobie!" The hubs wouldn't snicker at me or give me looks of horror, bless his heart, but I think we both missed the grown-up, big-word conversations (preferably with lots of swear words mixed in).

Now days, since my kids are a bit older, I'm trying to get those big, "college words" back. I'll use them when talking to my 6-year-old - just for the hell of it. Like

"Jack, did you know there will be huge repercussions in democratic demographics now that Senator Kennedy has passed away?"

or

"Typically I promote gender equality and believe that gay marriage is a continued, positive progression of our often unrealistic society."

Jack usually doesn't mind. He just nods.

I hope that someday, I'll have my college words back and I can mingle with the big kids again. I'm working on it.

Chick Music

With my life changing so drastically, so quickly, I've turned to something that has comforted me my entire life: Music.

My new favorite song: Where I Stood by Missy Higgins.

I came across this song by accident a few weeks ago and I instantly loved it. I plan to find out more about this artist and her music but, until then, I'm just enjoying the "newness" of her voice. It's a sad song, but there's some great therapy in listening to slow, meaningful songs.

Missy Higgins is a perfect mix between Fionna Apple, Melissa Ethridge and Sarah McLaughlin.

Check it out by clicking the link above, and here's the lyrics to read along...

I don't know what I've done
Or if I like what I've begun
But something told me to run
And honey you know me it's all or none

There were sounds in my head
LIttle voices whispering
That I should go and this should end
Oh and I found myself listening

'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood

See I thought love was black and white
That it was wrong or it was right
But you ain't leaving without a fight
And I think I am just as torn inside

'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood

And I won't be far from where you are if ever you should call
You meant more to me than anyone I ever loved at all
But you taught me how to trust myself and so I say to you
This is what I have to do

'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood
Oh, she who dares to stand where I stood

The Vegas Housewife is Moving....

...to Philadelphia.

Can I get a big "HOLY SHIT?!" from everyone?

Yep, the "Vegas" Housewife will be no more. *Sniff* My family and I will be moving to the Philly burbs to create a new life....full of cheese steak and soft pretzels.

Let me tell ya - it's been one hell of a month.

Philly Housewife? Nah, too boring. I am so not into boring. So obviously, The Housewife Diaries will be changing. Hopefully not too much, and I hope I don't lose all you Vegas-lovers....

I've never even been to Philly....well, I was there for 2 days, but that hardly counts. Moving my family across the country is a huge deal. I'm sure I will have plenty of shit to write about. I ain't 100% happy about the move, but the hubby, bless his heart, has been offered a HUGE job. I'm very proud of him and, being the good housewife that I am, agreed to pack up and move.

So put your seat belts on, because shit is going to hit the fan on The Housewife Diaries. I'm not sure what the shit is yet, but never fear - I'll keep you posted.

Anyone in Philly need a food writer...?

You Know You Live in Las Vegas When...

If you like this, check out my other "YKYLILV" posts on the left side bar!

Deep breath....here we go!

You know you live in Las Vegas when....

-Your three-year-old daughter tells you her Barbies are going to the casino. (yikes!)

-Your "end of the summer" party is in late October.

-Your staycations are just as good as your vacations.

-The Vegas specials on the Travel Channel bore you. *yawn*

-Your out-of-town buddies call you from the strip at 10pm wanting to go out....on a Tuesday.

-Seeing Elvis around town is no biggie.

-Taking the kids out on a Friday night means dinner at MGM and then onto the M&Ms store for dessert.

That's it for now! Have a fabulous weekend!

Conversations with DH

If you want to check out some of the other conversations I've had with my family, go here to my Conversations with.... page. I just went and re-read them and they still crack me up! Hopefully they will you, too!

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By the way, DH stands for "dear husband" in computer talk.

DH just got back from being out of town for a few days, and before that I was deathly ill with the Swine Flu. With all of that going on, we went two weeks without nookie (a record for us, methinks - part of a housewife's job is putting out regularly, right ladies? ).

Background: DH gets home from the airport at 9pm. I'm half asleep in bed already (because taking care of two little kids by yourself for two days is freakin exhausting). I sleepily give him a "welcome back" hug and a kiss and then conk out for the night.

The next day DH jokingly says...

DH: I was expecting to come home with you in some lingerie and like a margarita in your hand ready to go...(since we hadn't done the deed in forever).

Me: Oh yea? Hym. Welp, sorry bout that.

Later in the day....during another conversation........

DH: I was expecting you to welcome me home with some lingerie and a margarita in your hand....like "hello dear...let's get it on"....

Me: Why do you keep saying that? Are you being serious?

DH: No! I'm just joking! Geez....

Me: Well you keep bringing it up. This is the third time today. That means you're serious and you're just pretending to be joking.

DH: Ummmm, no...I swear I was joking.

Uh huh.

Me: I don't even drink margaritas.

DH: I know.

Me: How about totally naked and a beer instead? For next time. That's more my speed.

DH: Sounds good.

Marriage is all about compromise, right?

He's a Bit of a Close Talker...

Do you remember the Seinfeld episode with the guy who would talk two inches from some one's face? (I'm laughing just thinking about the scene...) Jerry called him a "close talker". If you haven't seen it, watch it here on youtube for some giggles. (watch for Kramer's part!)

So my husband and I have come up with our own names for other annoying things that people do. We try to be sneaky about it so we can talk about them right in front of them....and they have no idea. Makes it more fun. (cackle!) I'm such a bitch, I know.

-An "LT" or a loud talker. You know those people, god bless 'em, who cant hear worth a shit and so they talk really loud? The funniest is when we're in a restaurant, trying to enjoy our meal in peace, and we're sitting behind an LT. Um, sorry but, if I wanted to hear someone else's convo I'd sit at their table. Yes, I'll have an order of earplugs and a diet Coke. Thanks!

These LTs usually also fall into the category of people who have to watch TV with the volume on 100. Damn I hate people who have to watch TV so freakin loud! My mother is one of these people - I am half deaf after watching a show with her. The funny thing is, she can hear pretty well, at least when she wants to. But don't try to sleep in my house if my mom is watching TV. Because you wont be able to - the walls will be vibrating from all the noise.

-An AWB. This stands for an "ass-whoopin breath". I have a thing about people breathing on me. I have to restrain my insanity when a person is standing SO close to me that I can feel their breath on me. Yuck. And it makes it even worse if it's bad breath.....or ASS-whoopin breath.

-An SB. Then there's the people that have sweaty balls hands. Clammy, wet and warm. Sexy.

Speaking of hands, that bring us to the PS, or the "pussy-shaker". What does this mean? Ladies, when you're shaking some one's hand, don't give the other person a jello hand, three-fingered half-assed shake. You are a pussy shaker, and your hand shake is not worth a shit. Grab that hand like you mean it and squeeze. If you can give a hand job, then for fuck's sake you can shake hands with some gusto, too.

An LH. Ever embraced with a "Long Hugger"? I go in for a hug, squeeze for a moment, and then let go ready to step back....but the other person is still gripping me tightly. So I don't want to be rude so I awkwardly hold back on again....and wait. Long Huggers are okay sometimes, but mostly there's only a few people that I enjoy squishing my big, fake boobs into for longer than a second. Maybe I'm a hug-and-runner?

So let's review, shall we?

-LT = Loud Talker
-AWB = Ass-Whoopin Breath
-SB = Sweaty Balls
-PS = Pussy Shaker
-LH = Long Hugger

So do you have your own Seinfeld abbreviations? Let's hear them!

I'm back! Did ya miss me?

Hi! Gosh I feel like I haven't been in here in over week!

Wait a minute...I haven't.

Oh yea, that's right. I've been horribly sick with SWINE FLU! Yep, The Housewife caught H1N1. How did I get it? Hell if I know. My kids got sick, but not nearly as badly as I did. The hubs didn't get sick at all - but then he never gets sick. Life is so unfair! Why does mom get the worst flu of them all?
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Anyway, it was the most painful flu I have ever had. Like, ever. My fever lasted for three straight days. The rest - aches, pains, chills, sore throat, pounding headache, throwing up, no appetite - is still going on. I'm on day eight and I'm still not 100%. I'm feeling better but geez, this is a long, bastard of a bug! The best part about being sick? I lost SEVEN pounds.

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Seven.

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That's freakin better than Weight Watchers, boys and girls!
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Great timing - my sister-in-law, Tiffany, and her son came for a visit last week (she bought her plane ticket months before, so this was no one but the Swine Flu's fault). I mostly tried to stay alive and spent a lot of time in bed, while she cleaned my house and played with the kids. Seriously. I feel terrible about what a crappy visit she must have had, but I'm very grateful to have had her here. The highlight of her visit was the hubby and I took her and the kids to Rainforest Cafe in the MGM for dinner and then to the M&Ms store for dessert.

We had a blast, but there's a really fucking funny story that goes along with our outing. Would you expect anything less from me and my family? Come on, now!


So it's 5pm on Friday night. The hubs, Tiffany, the three kiddos and I are walking through the MGM on our way to Rainforest Cafe. Right in front of the card tables, a very drunk, 21-year-old-looking douche bag dude is walking towards us (almost in our walking path) and says to us....

"Kids....why do people bring kids to Las Vegas?"

His drunk buddy laughs uncomfortably. Right after he says this, he is in the husband's reach. Rut roh! The husband reaches out and gently shoves this dude's shoulder. Mind you - the husband has our 3-year-old daughter on his shoulders.

It's 5pm and my husband just pushed some drunk dude. Sweet.

I'm amazed - this dude didn't even react the the shove! He keeps walking....and at that moment walks right next to me. Maybe it was my Swine-Flu induced craziness but I sternly looked straight into his bleary, red eyes and said....

"WE LIVE HERE, ASSHOLE."

Oh....my....god. Did I seriously just say that? To a drunk dude? With my kids watching? And my sister-in-law and nephew watching? Nice, Tasha. Real nice job.

Amazingly, this pissed him off. Heehee.

He shouts back "Alriiiiiighttttttt, you fuckin bitch!"

By now, people at the card table were looking around at who was shouting. The husband hears him call me a bitch, turns around and starts after him with a look of pure "I'm going to kill that guy!" I get in front of the husband and tell him no, just keep walking.

My heart was pounding, and call me a sicko but, the first thing that popped into my head was "gee, he called me a fuckin bitch"! I could think of worse things I could have been called:

-FAT bitch
-STUPID bitch
-UGLY bitch

Any of those would have hurt my feelers, but somehow "fuckin" bitch kind of made me giggle. I'm just glad he didn't punch me in the face instead. Then I started thinking more about this drunk douche.

It was ONLY 5pm....and he was already sloshed?

Rookie.

Learn how to hold your booz and maybe one day you can play with the big kids. (This is where I roll my eyes) Obviously, I could have kicked his ass - even with my Swine Flu - and I could drink him under the table. I'm not "The Vegas Housewife" for nothing, bitches.

Anyway.....

Never a dull moment when my family goes out. We ended up having a perfectly lovely dinner and M&Ms for dessert.

Daym, I hate The Strip on Friday nights.

The 9 Ways To Treat A Woman

I Suck

Okay, I know.....I suck.

I've been a total fucking slacker.

Dont hate, people!

The Housewife has been busy taking care of sick kids and dealing with a busy life. But some things are letting up now...so I will be getting back to my old self very soon.

Promise!

I still have my trip to Brazil to share with you (and oh boy, it's good), my Signature Chefs update and a couple other things I'm working on.

Patience and cooperation, remember?

Yeah, I didnt think so. Anyway! I'll be back full steam...soon.